Military humor thread

[Monello]

Seen on Karen's SUV.

If we have to explain it to you, you probably won't get it anyway.

Actually this is usually seen on a Ensign's/2nd LT's car.

 

[Monello]

 

[stgislander]

Seen on Karen's SUV.

View attachment 147070

If we have to explain it to you, you probably won't get it anyway.

Actually this is usually seen on a Ensign's/2nd LT's car.

We were taught that enlisted members do not have "ranks".

 

[Yooper]

View attachment 147072

Not a race issue; simply an issue of military service preeminence!

--- End of line (Army Strong!)

 

[Monello]

 

[Monello]

 

[Monello]

 

[stgislander]

View attachment 147090

My first Chief always said you don't get ribbons for doing your job.

 

[Gilligan]

My first Chief always said you don't get ribbons for doing your job.

'splains all those ribbons you got.

 

[stgislander]

'splains all those ribbons you got.

Yeah, I always went "above and beyond".

 

[Gilligan]

Yeah, I always went "above and beyond".

I need to have a "Survived Home Lockdown for a Month" service ribbon made. A valium and a cocktail on a garden background...

 

[WingsOfGold]

View attachment 147088

No matter the statement it ALWAYS ended with "You phucking Maggot".
Obviously fake, the chief in question only has 2 rows of geedunks. In today's feel good military he should have at least 8 and that's only if he has less than 10 years in..
Ribbons? We don't need no phucking ribbons.

Admiral Nimitz addresses Congress: Oct. 5, 1945

On this day in 1945, Chester W. Nimitz, commander of Allied naval forces in the Pacific during World War II, addressed a joint meeting of Congress.

www.politico.com

 

[Monello]

Onboard the newly minted USS Nimitz way back in its infancy, it’s said that a sailor had whined and complained to the Executive Officer (XO) that working hours were too long and didn’t allow time for the crew to take care of personal business as nothing was open before ship’s work and everything was closed at knock off! Apparently the XO had no empathy and told them to suck it up. And that’s when the shenanigans started!!!

About this time the XO had overheard some of the crew referring to the ship as “USS NUMBNUTS.” Not happy with the moniker, the XO had a question and answer column in the Nimitz News. In this column he’d put on a shipboard contest for a positive catch phrase, as some sort of morale booster. Somewhere along the line, a good old talented smart ass of a shipmate came up with the slogan…

“BOHICA – Our Screws Never Stop! U.S.S. NIMITZ CVN-68”

Somehow this young sprite of a lad convinced the XO that BOHICA was a positive Native American word that could double as an acronym for…

“Best Overall, Highest In Carrier Aviation!”

And would you believe that it actually worked? It won the contest!!!

 

[Monello]

A little early for Christmas carols.

On the twelfth day of Subic sea daddy gave to me …

Twelve boots a-puking

Eleven bankas begging

Ten monkeys grilling

Nine wallets snatching

Eight Mojos pouring

Seven plates of lumpia

Six Magoos icing

Fiiiiive botterply nipes

Four barfines paying

Three pandesals

Two muddy streets

And a long line down in sick bay!​

 

[Monello]

The coffee in the Navy,
They say is mighty fine,
It's good for cuts and bruises
And tastes like iodine.

I don't want no more of navy life,
Gee, ma, I want to go
But they won't let me go
Gee, ma, I want to go home

The biscuits in the navy,
They say are mighty fine,
One fell off a table
And killed a pal of mine.

I don't want no more of navy life,
Gee, ma, I want to go home.

The clothes that they give us,
They say are mighty fine,
Me and my best buddy,
Can both fit into mine.

I don't want no more of navy life,
Gee, ma, I want to go home.

They treat us all like monkeys
And make us stand in line,

I don't want no more of navy life,
Gee, ma, I want to go home.