Commentator #1:...Now over to Hans Clegg for the start of the marathon for incontinents.
Commentator #2: Well, we've got an enormous entry for this event: 44 competitors from 29 different countries, all of them with the most superbly weak bladders. Not a tight sphincter in sight. Ready to embark, nevertheless, on the world's longest race and they're just aching to go!
Starter: On your marks! Get set! (He fires his pistol.)
Commentator #2: And they're off! They're off! (The competitors begin running but head immediately into an adjacent lavatory.) Well...