Motor mouth

[Moved_south]

The boy is 8. Academically, I have no complaints about his performance at school. However, the boy CANNOT keep his mouth shut. He comes home with "yellow" stamps (green= good, Yellow=not good, Orange= even more not good, Red= demon child) and notes that he is running his mouth when he should be paying attention. When he comes home on yellow- he is not allowed TV nor is he allowed to play his DS. I have started giving him an additional assignment to complete as well.

We recently tried changing our approach a bit and trying to reward the green days- "you earned DS time today!! good job!" kind of thing. To no (well little) avail. I am of the opinion that you do not "reward" behavior that is expected from you. You go to school. You do what you are told. You shut your mouth. Period. end of story. BUT, I am will to try whatever it takes to get him to stop getting in trouble at school.

Hubby thinks the teacher is picking on him. I want to hold him accountable. We have a meeting scheduled Feb. 12th. Am I making too big a deal out of yellow days? Anyone have any experience dealing with a strong willed, talkative boy-child? He is really not a bad kid and his grades are good. Any advice would be appreciated. TYIA.

 

[czygvtwkr]

If he is fine academically it is most likey because he is bored, the class moves slower than him. I had this problem, teachers were always calling my parents because I wasnt paying attention. I wasn't paying attention because what they spent an hour going over I could learn in five minutes.

 

[struggler44]

If he is fine academically it is most likey because he is bored, the class moves slower than him. I had this problem, teachers were always calling my parents because I wasnt paying attention. I wasn't paying attention because what they spent an hour going over I could learn in five minutes.

Sounds like he's not challenged enough....

 

[Crewdawg141]

Sounds like he's not challenged enough....

Exactly! I was the same way, try to use your motivation with something that lights his internal fire/passion. For me it was museums and anything mechanical, I would grab anything about either - show, books, magazines, etc. Use what interests him other than a DS or video game that will spur his mind into doing more. See if that works for you, let us know if it helped or what worked for you and your son.

 

[Bay_Kat]

Sounds like he's not challenged enough....

Exactly, my 14 year old daughter was the exact same way, she still loves to talk, but the conversations are very intelligent, like talking to an adult. Sounds like the little guy is bored and needs something more challenging.

 

[pelers]

Agreed with the others. If his grades are good, but he's not paying attention it's most likely because he is totally bored.

When I was a young 'un and had that problem I had one particularly awesome teacher that let me go off and do my own thing. When the class was working on math, I also worked on math, but I skipped ahead in the book and worked at my own pace. I was still accountable for turning in the homework in the back of whatever chapter I did. During reading time, once I completed whatever book the class was working on I'd turn in a book report on it and then work on another book of my own choosing, followed up by a book report.

Maybe see if his teacher is amenable to something along those lines to the subjects he excels the most/is the most bored in.

 

[Roman]

I am no Child Professional, but I think the reward system is good. He is just a young little guy, and simply teaching him cause, and effect is a great start. I agree with Struggler44, that he just might be not intelligently challenged enough, and may be bored. He's just a little guy that has a lot to say. I'm glad that you have an appointment with his Teacher, and I think your Husband might be right too. No matter how dedicated a teacher is, he/she can't not like every Child. Good luck, and keep up the good work.

 

[GURPS]

I wasn't paying attention because what they spent an hour going over I could learn in five minutes.

School was BORING .........

 

[GURPS]

to keep my 2nd grader out of trouble - the teacher recognized she was ahead of the class and easily bored - when the assignment is complete, she is allowed to;


1) get a book from the back and quietly read
2) read a book from home ...... something of substance NOT Pokemon

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I agree, I think he's bored.

 

[drivingdaisy]

He might be bored. He might just be a talker who isn't bored, but loves to talk. Don't we even know adults like this. You can ask the teacher if she thinks it is because he is bored. Ideally a good teacher would have already considered this and tried some things so they might not agree that it because he is bored. Of course maybe it isn't a good teacher and I'm not sure you'll get much resolved. Schools will usually let you observe your child while they are in action in the classroom. Maybe that will help you get a feel for what is going on.

As a teacher I can tell you some kids are just not created to be good traditional students. It doesn't mean you and the teacher shouldn't work with him to help him find ways to be less of a distraction. Trying to adapt to what is considered acceptable behavior for a situation is a good skill. But he might never be a "green most days of the week" kind of guy. Yes its nice when all students sit quietly and raise their hand to particiapte, but not all kids are capable of that. And it doesn't mean that they aren't learning (but it could). It doesn't mean they won't be a sucessful adult. Some kids truly are on a whole different path listening not only to a different drum, but possible a whole different instrument.

 

[Moved_south]

Thanks for the input all. I know that there are some grade school teachers on here and was wondering how others have handled this kind of situation. I am sure that the boy is not unique in his mouth-running-ness.

He has been better the last few days. He has expressed an interest in taking karate and also in a SCUBA diving workshop. Hopefully he is understanding the concept of privileges and how they are earned and not just given/expected. The catch 22 with using things like that as leverage however, is being willing to actually take those things away if not "earned" even if said privileges are bought and paid for already..... SIGH. This parenting crap is for the birds.

 

[Hank]

School was BORING .........

 

[pelers]

The catch 22 with using things like that as leverage however, is being willing to actually take those things away if not "earned" even if said privileges are bought and paid for already..... SIGH. This parenting crap is for the birds.

Maybe set up a "monetary" reward system? If the boy does all of his chores, gets good grades, etc for a certain period THEN he earns the fun stuff? Reward rather than incentive. He can stay in the class, but if his grades, etc dip he doesn't get to sign up for the next session.

 

[Cheeky1]

The boy is 8. Academically, I have no complaints about his performance at school. However, the boy CANNOT keep his mouth shut. He comes home with "yellow" stamps (green= good, Yellow=not good, Orange= even more not good, Red= demon child) and notes that he is running his mouth when he should be paying attention. When he comes home on yellow- he is not allowed TV nor is he allowed to play his DS. I have started giving him an additional assignment to complete as well.

We recently tried changing our approach a bit and trying to reward the green days- "you earned DS time today!! good job!" kind of thing. To no (well little) avail. I am of the opinion that you do not "reward" behavior that is expected from you. You go to school. You do what you are told. You shut your mouth. Period. end of story. BUT, I am will to try whatever it takes to get him to stop getting in trouble at school.

Hubby thinks the teacher is picking on him. I want to hold him accountable. We have a meeting scheduled Feb. 12th. Am I making too big a deal out of yellow days? Anyone have any experience dealing with a strong willed, talkative boy-child? He is really not a bad kid and his grades are good. Any advice would be appreciated. TYIA.

I can think of three ways to deal with the "motor mouth" you described.

1. Enroll him in a, separate, public speaking class.
--- if he going to speak, he might as well be confident and efficient at it! ---

2. Force your child to speak ALL the time while at home. Let your child rack up chores, yard work, etc...for everytime you catch him NOT speaking at home.

3. Teach your child Calculus and tell him to practice it during class when he is bored.
If the teacher sends him to the office - you know the teacher is picking on him.
If your child is accelerated to a higher level class - you know the teacher actually cares about your sons performance and learning capabilities. This will also verify the issue of boredom and solve it. ---oh and enroll him a public speaking class anyway lol---

 

[Cheeky1]

...He has been better the last few days. He has expressed an interest in taking karate and also in a SCUBA diving workshop. Hopefully he is understanding the concept of privileges and how they are earned and not just given/expected. The catch 22 with using things like that as leverage however, is being willing to actually take those things away if not "earned" even if said privileges are bought and paid for already..... SIGH. This parenting crap is for the birds.

Why is this such a big deal? (from one parent to another)

If your child earns a "treat" (or privilege) - awesome!
If your child doesn't earn it - then your child doesn't get it. Simple.

Of course the child doesn't like it (and perhaps you don't either), but that is irrelevant to whether he/she should receive a privilege.

:shrug:

 

[pelers]

Why is this such a big deal? (from one parent to another)

If your child earns a "treat" (or privilege) - awesome!
If your child doesn't earn it - then your child doesn't get it. Simple.

Of course the child doesn't like it (and perhaps you don't either), but that is irrelevant to whether he/she should receive a privilege.

:shrug:

I think the complaint was more along the lines of you signed your kid up for karate classes or something. Costs lots of money. Midway through kid starts misbehaving, so you pull them from the classes and lose your money.

 

[Radiant1]

I think the complaint was more along the lines of you signed your kid up for karate classes or something. Costs lots of money. Midway through kid starts misbehaving, so you pull them from the classes and lose your money.

Sometimes the instructor loses money. My SO teaches guitar. If his students fall behind in school or misbehave in some manner their parents will remove them form lessons. He highly encourages them to behave and do well in school so he can keep some modicum of consistent income.