My buddy said.......

[limblips]

he got in trouble for pi$$ing in the shower. I told him people do it all the time and that there is nothing wrong with it. He said, "That's what I thought but the people in Home Depot have a huge issue with it".

 

[Larry Gude]

Midget with a lisp goes to see about a horse for sale.

Looks him over then sez to the seller "Whould you mihn liffing meh up so I can look in his hears?"

Guy says "Sure. Why not?"

Midget checks out the horses ears and seems satisfied. Then sez "Whould you mihn liffing me uph so I can see his teef?"

Slightly annoyed but wanting to make the sale, guy sez "Sure."

Next, seemingly satisfied, the midget says "Whould you mihn showing me hiths ####?"


Having had enough, the guys says "Why, you dirty little bastard!?" and grabs the midget, shoves his head up the horses ass and pulls him back out and says "So, how was that, huh, you sicko?"

The midget spits out a bunch of manure, wipes crap off his face and says...

"Awow me to rephase that. Whould you mihn showing meh his gawop?"