My living will (topical)

[Mikeinsmd]

I, Mike in Smd being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their asses depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008,it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

Signature
Mike in Smd

 

[Tigerlily]

 

[Vince]

Funny, but true.

 

[Sharon]

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

Heck, if that happens to me... I must be dead too.

 

[virgovictoria]

Thank you sir, for your advanced directive. You have neglected to mention the previously promised portion of actually willing your estate and wordly possesions to virgovictoria. Your prompt attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Again, Thanks in Advance.

 

[Kizzy]

I, Mike in Smd being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their asses depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008,it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

Signature
Mike in Smd

Mike,

You sniveling little azzwipe You did it again. :

 

[Vince]

Heck, if that happens to me... I must be dead too.

Just put a Heiney in the casket and bury me.

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Thank you sir, for your advanced directive. You have neglected to mention the previously promised portion of actually willing your estate and wordly possesions to virgovictoria. Your prompt attention to this matter is greatly appreciated. Again, Thanks in Advance.

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Mike, You sniveling little azzwipe You did it again. :

 

[Tonio]

Great statement, Mike!

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their asses depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Tonio's Corollary: "And if the aforementioned idiot politicians try to use me as a political football, I hereby instruct my spouse and children to not even bother pulling the feeding tube, but just to blow my brains out."

Here's one theory as to why conservative Christians had such venom for Michael Schiavo--in their eyes, he committed the cardinal sin of giving up hope.