National Tell a Joke Day!

jazz lady

~*~ rara avis ~*~
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.

"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
 

luvmygdaughters

Well-Known Member
PREMO Member
There was this poor little guy who had no arms. He wanted a job, but nobody would hire him because of his lack of arms. He see's a sign hanging on the church door, "wanted Bell Ringer". So he applies, the pastor asked how he would ring the bell with no arms, "I'll show you, he answered. They went up to the steeple, armless guy backs up to the opposite wall of the bell and starts running full speed. He jumps and his face connects with the bell, ringing it beautifully. He's hired. Everyday for a month, he rang the bell right on time with his face. One day he was feeling a little off, he climbed to the steeple, took off running, jumped and missed the bell, falling to the sidewalk below. People gathered around him, some one asked, does anyone know who this poor man is, from the back of the crowd, the pastor answered...

I dont know his name, but, his face rings a bell!!!!:drummer:
 

RoseRed

American Beauty
PREMO Member
There was this poor little guy who had no arms. He wanted a job, but nobody would hire him because of his lack of arms. He see's a sign hanging on the church door, "wanted Bell Ringer". So he applies, the pastor asked how he would ring the bell with no arms, "I'll show you, he answered. They went up to the steeple, armless guy backs up to the opposite wall of the bell and starts running full speed. He jumps and his face connects with the bell, ringing it beautifully. He's hired. Everyday for a month, he rang the bell right on time with his face. One day he was feeling a little off, he climbed to the steeple, took off running, jumped and missed the bell, falling to the sidewalk below. People gathered around him, some one asked, does anyone know who this poor man is, from the back of the crowd, the pastor answered...

I dont know his name, but, his face rings a bell!!!!:drummer:
TRIVIA TIME!

Did you know that the church-bell at Iglesia de San Pedro, on Isla Taboga, is rung with rocks?

I learned that when I was there in May (in the bell-tower). 🤓
 

luvmygdaughters

Well-Known Member
PREMO Member
TRIVIA TIME!

Did you know that the church-bell at Iglesia de San Pedro, on Isla Taboga, is rung with rocks?

I learned that when I was there in May (in the bell-tower). 🤓
I did not know that!!! Thanks for sharing the trivia tidbit of knowledge, you never know when you may need it!!!! :buddies:
 

luvmygdaughters

Well-Known Member
PREMO Member
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.

"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
:lmao:
 

kom526

They call me ... Sarcasmo
Catholic churches in Las Vegas will accept chips in the collection plates.
Every Monday a brother from the mission comes around and collects the chips to cash in and deposit.

He is the chip monk.
 
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