the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Reminds me of the time we were deployed overseas. We have coed barracks and one night I came back late from out of town to stumble on this "healthy" female sailor wandering around the barracks, wearing nothing but an oversize shirt.
Being a responsible Petty Officer, I ask her to goback to her room because it's not safe for her to wander around like that. She said that she can't because her roommate has a "guest" in their room. So I asked her if she has any friend where she could bunk for the night.
She said yes but she could not remember her "friend's" room but when she mentioned the name, I said I do know where his room is at so I took her there.
Her friend's roomate opened the door and let her in so I just told the guy to not let her out again. The next morning I saw her friend talking to other sailors and seemed upset. i asked him what the fuss all about and he told me that he knows he was drunk the night before but he was surprised to see the healthy female lying next to him in his bed.
I thought he was gonna kill me when I said that I took her to his room, especially when I said it's either his room or mine, so it's was an easy choice.