personals

red

New Member
Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums.

Me--trying to sleep on the bus station bench, pleading with you to give me a cigarette; you--choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; at the last moment, our eyes meeting. Yours were blue. Can I have a dollar?

Imp and angel. Disembodied head in jar, 24, seeks pixie goddess to fiddle with while Rome burns. You bring marshmallows. No. I make joke. You like laugh? I like comebacks and confessions. Send photo of someone else.

I am spitting kitty. Ftt Fttttttt. I am angry bear. Grrrrr. I am large watermelon seed stuck in your nose. Zermmmmmmmmmm. I am small biting spider in your underwear. Yub yub yub. No mimes.

Three toed mango peeler searching for wicked lesbian infielder. Like screaming and marking territory with urine? Let's make banana enchiladas together in my bathtub. You bring the salsa.

Mongoloid spastic underwear model with extra limb (you guess where?) in search of bottlenosed dolphin and extra prickly cactus juice. Soup is good food.

Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.

I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Must wear size five shoes.

Timber! Falling downward is the lumber of my love. You grind your axe of passion into my endangered headlands. Don't make me into a bureau. I want to be lots and lots of toothpicks.

Small lumpy squid monkey seeks healthy woman with no identifying scars, any age. Must have all limbs. Recommend appreciation of high-pitched, screeching noises. Must like being bored and lonely. Must not touch the squids, EVER.

Mmmm Pez! Rabid Wonder Woman fan looking for someone in satin tights, fighting for our rights and the old red, white 'n blue. You look like Linda Carter? Big plus. Know all words to theme song? Marry me.

Remember that summer you spent with your parents in Hawaii and how mad you were that they made you go? And how you were hopelessly bored until you saw the most gorgeous man you'd ever encountered strolling down the beach looking at you, skillfully removing your skimpy bikini with his piercing eyes? And how you spent the last month imagining him taking you in every possible way, masturbating feverishly day and night, wishing he would reappear, but he never did because you were 15 and he would have gone to jail? That was me, and you just turned 18.
 

Sharon

* * * * * * * * *
Staff member
PREMO Member
Originally posted by steve203:
Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums.
 

fuzzyng

New Member
Originally posted by red
Three toed mango peeler searching for wicked lesbian infielder. Like screaming and marking territory with urine? Let's make banana enchiladas together in my bathtub. You bring the salsa. [/B]

:eek: YOU FOUND MY AD!! :eek:


:biggrin:
 

MARSAM

New Member
MAN THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A PERSONAL POST BUT IF I WERE TO HAVE A POST IT WOULD SAY.
39 YR OLD WHITE MALE NICE LOOKING IN SHAPE FOR A ATTRACTIVE FEMALE WHO LOVES TO LAUGH AND HAVE FUN .:smooch:
 

yakky doodle

New Member
you guys who are lookin' for dates would have a better chance if you'd post your pictures. looks aren't everything, but for those who have vision/sight, it's the first thing people notice when they meet you. :bubble:
 

MARSAM

New Member
LOOKS HELL I HAVE ALL THE WOMEN WITH THE LOOKS ,AND I AM NOT SAYING ALL, BUT LOOKS KILL SOME PERSONALLITIES. SOME PEOPLE TAKE THERE LOOKS FOR GRANTED AND SOME THINK THEY ARE GOD'S GIFT I DON'T NEED A GIRT MARK
 

SmallTown

Football season!
Originally posted by yakky doodle
you guys who are lookin' for dates would have a better chance if you'd post your pictures.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Good one Yakky. They want dates, not applications for the circus.
 

yakky doodle

New Member
Originally posted by vraiblonde
Ummm...Yak? Isn't this where you post back "No problem, reb"?

yes, just as soon as I see it! :wink: some of us have been building a fence since 8 a.m. this morning. :biggrin:

No Problem MS! And just how did you know I was also a Yankee? :really: But why should I refer to you as Reb vs. MarSam? :confused:

:lol:
 
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migtig

aka Mrs. Giant
Red - you are too funny - not sure if you made them up yourself or found another cool website in your surfing time:biggrin: :lmao:
 

red

New Member
Originally posted by migtig
Red - you are too funny - not sure if you made them up yourself or found another cool website in your surfing time:biggrin: :lmao:

i made them up! :biggrin:

no, really. i just have too much time on my hands (sometimes). it's just another one of those things i stumble across looking for stupid internet stuff.
 
K

KaZamm1061

Guest
Thank god my personal wasnt posted! It might attract more than i can handle. OH wait it already has. hahahahahahahahahahaaha I can handle it though. I THINK
 
A

Analyst

Guest
Like Underwear Model Beautiful Guy

Hi,

I'm Tom. 6'1", 42 YO, 185 Lbs (ripped). I've been starving myself on unprocessed wheat bran and protein powder for the last 5 months, and busting my @ss at ProFitness in WildeWood to look sexy for you. I'm not much into the bar scene (is there one in SoMD?), and looking for a companion and lover through Mid-April (if you need to ask why the cut off, don't respond).

I'm highly educated, intelligent, and charming. Looking for fit woman of northern european heritage in mid 30's to 40's. I'm very oral. Live in house by myself. Fireplace, big bed (in picture).

If interested, please respond I'll send you the rest of this set of pictures.

Thanks,
Tom
 

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