Railroad
Routinely Derailed
1. The neighbor upwind must have kids; does laundry every day. How do I know? Uses really nasty-smelling fabric softener in the dryer. 
2. The neighbor next door always yells at her dogs as if they've done something terrible, when all she's doing is getting them to come up on the porch and into the house. Poor dogs (who are VERY well behaved, BTW).
3. Who invented dust, and why do we all have it? Why do I get so much of it? My house is always dusty. Even the dog sneezes sometimes.
4. Things fall over when you want them to slide; things slide when you want them to fall over.
5. The detergent bottle blows bubbles when you pick it up.
6. Ziplock bags don't.
7. Recloseable bags don't open in the first place - of course they keep your food fresh, you can't get to it!
8. Cereal bags are designed to make you crush the cereal and tear the box while trying to get the bag open. This leads to Ziplock bags. Refer to number 6 above.
9. Your favorite grocery store analyzes your shopping habits, and slowly and insidiously stops carrying your favorite items.
10. Some idiot with a fax machine thinks that eventually, my non-fax voice line will eventually have a fax machine on it. So everyday I get 3 calls (about this time of day), all of which leave the same message on the answering machine: beep.....beep.....beep.....beep.....
2. The neighbor next door always yells at her dogs as if they've done something terrible, when all she's doing is getting them to come up on the porch and into the house. Poor dogs (who are VERY well behaved, BTW).
3. Who invented dust, and why do we all have it? Why do I get so much of it? My house is always dusty. Even the dog sneezes sometimes.
4. Things fall over when you want them to slide; things slide when you want them to fall over.
5. The detergent bottle blows bubbles when you pick it up.
6. Ziplock bags don't.
7. Recloseable bags don't open in the first place - of course they keep your food fresh, you can't get to it!
8. Cereal bags are designed to make you crush the cereal and tear the box while trying to get the bag open. This leads to Ziplock bags. Refer to number 6 above.
9. Your favorite grocery store analyzes your shopping habits, and slowly and insidiously stops carrying your favorite items.
10. Some idiot with a fax machine thinks that eventually, my non-fax voice line will eventually have a fax machine on it. So everyday I get 3 calls (about this time of day), all of which leave the same message on the answering machine: beep.....beep.....beep.....beep.....
I could so see him doing that!
They always puck you at the drive-thru.
