To whom this may concern,
Sincerely yours,
Brandi Smith
Mechanicsville, MD 20659
Dear Ms. Smith,
Humans, as a species, are omnivores and as such you will never stop people from eating meat. This, unfortunately, implies the inevitable destruction of some of God's most beautiful creatures. You just so happn to find yourself living in a rural community where this unfortunate slaughter is commonplace. Furthermore, this slaughter is oftentimes the very livelihood of your neighbors, whom you haughtily refer to as "hillbillies" and "rednecks", in that charming way of yours.
Until such a time as you feel that you can kill or pick your own food, I'm sure these hillbillies and rednecks - and incidentally, myself - will thank you to kindly jam a pork-chop into that useless jibbering hole in your face. Because that, and being a #### recepticle, appear to be all it's good for.
Meanwhile, please feel free to eat wheat-germ and soy until your crap looks like raisins.
Yours in Bloodthirsty Carnage,
Toxick