Poem From a Real Friend

[High EGT]

Friend

When you are sad, ...
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry
bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue, ...
I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile, ...
I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared, ...
I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, ...
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be
and to quit whining.

When you are confused, ...
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb azz.

When you are sick, ...
stay away from me until you're well again.
I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall, ...
I will point and laugh at your clumsy azz.

This is my oath, ...
I pledge 'til the end.
Why you may ask?
Because you're my friend!


NOTE: A friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.

 

[Homer J]

A friend will bail you out of jail.
A true friend will be sitting in the cell next you saying, "Dude, that was awesome!"

 

[Gwydion]

i want a boy who i can run to with tears runnin down my face and the first thing he says to me is "whose azz am i kicking, babe?"

 

[theArtistFormerlyKnownAs]

i want a boy who i can run to with tears runnin down my face and the first thing he says to me is "whose azz am i kicking, babe?"

i've never quite understood that...

what if your crying has absolutely nothing to do with somebody else who deserves having an "ass kicking"? What if it is something like a family member who is sick or something? Would you rather have a significant other who's first instinct is violence or one who (doesn't jump to conclusions, and) will comfort you in any situation, AND stand up for you when the time is right?

 

[Mousebaby]

i've never quite understood that...

what if your crying has absolutely nothing to do with somebody else who deserves having an "ass kicking"? What if it is something like a family member who is sick or something? Would you rather have a significant other who's first instinct is violence or one who (doesn't jump to conclusions, and) will comfort you in any situation, AND stand up for you when the time is right?

Damn Johnny, you're making me wish I wasn't married!

 

[High EGT]

i've never quite understood that...

what if your crying has absolutely nothing to do with somebody else who deserves having an "ass kicking"? What if it is something like a family member who is sick or something? Would you rather have a significant other who's first instinct is violence or one who (doesn't jump to conclusions, and) will comfort you in any situation, AND stand up for you when the time is right?

Did I miss something? This section is about jokes. Right?.

 

[Larry Gude]

And the best...

A friend will bail you out of jail.
A true friend will be sitting in the cell next you saying, "Dude, that was awesome!"

...friend will bail both your dumb azzes out of jail, never tell a soul but make you both miserable about it forever. In a loving, caring kind of way.

 

[Lugnut]

i've never quite understood that...

what if your crying has absolutely nothing to do with somebody else who deserves having an "ass kicking"? What if it is something like a family member who is sick or something? Would you rather have a significant other who's first instinct is violence or one who (doesn't jump to conclusions, and) will comfort you in any situation, AND stand up for you when the time is right?

You think about this #### too much.

You are hereby cited by a duly appointed representative of the man counsel. That will be two points deducted. Any further pansy posts in the next 24 hours will result in another two point deduction and/or an order to present yourself to the counsel to explain the origin of the sand in your panooch.

 

[Larry Gude]

Boy...

...friend will bail both your dumb azzes out of jail, never tell a soul but make you both miserable about it forever. In a loving, caring kind of way.

...did this touch some nerves!


Red

that was really gay, no wonder vrail dumped you

Red

tard

 

[High EGT]

...did this touch some nerves!


Red

Red

Obviously from a gilded fan club member