Proof of evolution...

[Larry Gude]

..lies, like mathematics, in the the converse being true. 2+3 = 5, therefore, 3+2 also = 5 and 5 less 3 is two and 5 less 2 is three.

So, I get my oldest back for fall break for a few days. Got herself on a shuttle from school to the airport over an hour away, made it through a connection at Laguardia and to BWI all by her big girl self. Great to see her, hugged for ten minutes, cried with each other and hugged a bit more. School sounds like it suits her, her instructors, classes, part time job, grades, taking care of herself, enjoying the experience and so on and so forth.

So, her stupid lying weasel little boyfriend is still down here. She goes out with him all day Thursday and, as I predicted to myself, she wants to spend the night as she is a big girl now. I said no. "But mom said she couldn't see why you'd mind" I said NO, I am not comfortable with it and that's it. So, the debate that she's a big girl and he visited for a week at school and stayed with her and this and that. So now, it's hell no. And, de-evolution sets right in. from college to high school in 60 seconds. She starts sniffling like the immature child that she still is. But, good enough, she's home at midnight.

Then, yesterday, all day spent with worm boy. And, of course, the high school tact; around 9 pm, 'can I spend the night at Rachel's? I haven't seen her yet, she doesn't get off work until midnight', ya da ya da high school horsehist yah.

Dear, I know and you know that is a lame cover to sleep over at your boyfriends. "sputter, sputter, busted..." More tears. More snivelling. Home by midnight. Argh.

So, this AM, "Can I go run some errands and come back around 2:45?" We're leaving for a party in her big college girl honor at 3.

No. If you'd said 'I wanna go run around with boyfriend for a few hours. Be back at 2 or so'? I would have said fine. To fib to me some more and to get my consent for you to come rolling in at the last minute is not going to work.

So, more crying, more why am I treating her like a child, more why are you acting like one...

More of why I did not miss her very often the last two months.

 

[This_person]

..lies, like mathematics, in the the converse being true. 2+3 = 5, therefore, 3+2 also = 5 and 5 less 3 is two and 5 less 2 is three.

So, I get my oldest back for fall break for a few days. Got herself on a shuttle from school to the airport over an hour away, made it through a connection at Laguardia and to BWI all by her big girl self. Great to see her, hugged for ten minutes, cried with each other and hugged a bit more. School sounds like it suits her, her instructors, classes, part time job, grades, taking care of herself, enjoying the experience and so on and so forth.

So, her stupid lying weasel little boyfriend is still down here. She goes out with him all day Thursday and, as I predicted to myself, she wants to spend the night as she is a big girl now. I said no. "But mom said she couldn't see why you'd mind" I said NO, I am not comfortable with it and that's it. So, the debate that she's a big girl and he visited for a week at school and stayed with her and this and that. So now, it's hell no. And, de-evolution sets right in. from college to high school in 60 seconds. She starts sniffling like the immature child that she still is. But, good enough, she's home at midnight.

Then, yesterday, all day spent with worm boy. And, of course, the high school tact; around 9 pm, 'can I spend the night at Rachel's? I haven't seen her yet, she doesn't get off work until midnight', ya da ya da high school horsehist yah.

Dear, I know and you know that is a lame cover to sleep over at your boyfriends. "sputter, sputter, busted..." More tears. More snivelling. Home by midnight. Argh.

So, this AM, "Can I go run some errands and come back around 2:45?" We're leaving for a party in her big college girl honor at 3.

No. If you'd said 'I wanna go run around with boyfriend for a few hours. Be back at 2 or so'? I would have said fine. To fib to me some more and to get my consent for you to come rolling in at the last minute is not going to work.

So, more crying, more why am I treating her like a child, more why are you acting like one...

More of why I did not miss her very often the last two months.

I hear myself in almost everything you said. Mine's closer, so pop-in visits help ensure she knows better than visitors in her dorm of the opposite sex. POS B/F is making an ass of himself, so he may be gone all on his own.

Let's hope for their sakes that the morals we raised them with kick in sooner or later (sooner would be nice, though).

 

[ItalianScallion]

Stick to your guns Larry, you'll feel better for it. While working with kids, I've found that most of them are regularly experimenting with sex & smokes when not under supervision. It USED to be that when you trusted them and "gave them a little rope", they made you proud for the most part. Today, when you do that, you're almost always sorry. I'm finding this to be true because each time I tell them not to do something, later, I find them doing it anyway! Let them spend all day on the phone but be very watchful if they're alone together. They really don't think (care) about the future consequenses of their actions.

 

[Larry Gude]

Moral's...

I hear myself in almost everything you said. Mine's closer, so pop-in visits help ensure she knows better than visitors in her dorm of the opposite sex. POS B/F is making an ass of himself, so he may be gone all on his own.

Let's hope for their sakes that the morals we raised them with kick in sooner or later (sooner would be nice, though).

...are not the issue. I hope for all my girls to have fulfilling, happy sex lives just like all the other parts of their lives from what they do to earn a living to their hobbies and other interests. Drugs I have a problem with. Sex, not so much.

The issue here is one of appropriateness and time and place. She's still my little girl and sleeping over when home does not go in daddy's face. Off at school, she makes the rules because daddy's little girl is also a young woman.
There's still a line for awhile yet. She has to respect that AND not lie about it.

 

[Larry Gude]

Again...

Stick to your guns Larry, you'll feel better for it. While working with kids, I've found that most of them are regularly experimenting with sex & smokes when not under supervision. It USED to be that when you trusted them and "gave them a little rope", they made you proud for the most part. Today, when you do that, you're almost always sorry. I'm finding this to be true because each time I tell them not to do something, later, I find them doing it anyway! Let them spend all day on the phone but be very watchful if they're alone together. They really don't think (care) about the future consequenses of their actions.

...that's not the issue. It's one of appropriateness and time and place. If I needed to be watching her 24/7 I'd not have let her go off to college. It's time for her to be off at school and it's time for her to take the next step towards full adulthood. It's also time for her to understand the old mans sensibilities. It is far, far more the dishonesty than the opposite sex.

 

[ItalianScallion]

...that's not the issue. It's one of appropriateness and time and place. If I needed to be watching her 24/7 I'd not have let her go off to college. It's time for her to be off at school and it's time for her to take the next step towards full adulthood. It's also time for her to understand the old mans sensibilities. It is far, far more the dishonesty than the opposite sex.

I agree but why do kids lie? So they can do the things you're not worried about. I still say stand your ground as you are doing. I wish you well in this.

 

[Gwydion]

...that's not the issue. It's one of appropriateness and time and place. If I needed to be watching her 24/7 I'd not have let her go off to college. It's time for her to be off at school and it's time for her to take the next step towards full adulthood. It's also time for her to understand the old mans sensibilities. It is far, far more the dishonesty than the opposite sex.

As a semi-recent graduate of college and having a girlfriend (fiance now) throughout the entirity of it, I can understand where shes coming from....but I see and agree with your point. While shes off at college she can go out and do all that ####....when she's at home, she should be enjoying HOME with her old man and relatives. My $.02 anyway...

And by now she should realize that all those times she thought she outsmarted you in high school, she was just fooling herself.

 

[Larry Gude]

She's...

I agree but why do kids lie? So they can do the things you're not worried about. I still say stand your ground as you are doing. I wish you well in this.

...not even a good liar.

I makes me angry because I've made an endless point of how important it is to me that my child is ALWAYS honest with me, no matter what else. Her mother is of the incomplete disclosure, little white lie, omission school of thought, which is one of the reasonse we got divorced.

It's frustrating.

 

[vraiblonde]

...not even a good liar.

I emailed and told her that, along with pointers on how she can be a better and more convincing liar. You're welcome


















j/k Actually, I laid out pretty much what Gwydion posted and gave her specific instructions on how to "act like an adult" so that she might some day be treated like one.

Now I will go make up her Trick or Treat bag because I'm sure the kids in her dorm won't be passing out any good candy this year when she comes knocking.

 

[Larry Gude]

If it works...

I emailed and told her that, along with pointers on how she can be a better and more convincing liar. You're welcome

...I'll build a statue of you wagging a finger at a child.