Rectum Stretcher

[GopherM]

THE RECTUM STRETCHER!

A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'

She replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what?............

'A Rectum Stretcher!'

'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot a**hole?' he asked

'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge......

 

[h3mech]

lol

 

[stgislander]

If I laugh, will I be accused of hating the police?

 

[gemma_rae]

A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'

She replied with her own query, "Did you pull me over for speeding?" to which the cop replied in the affirmative.
"Oh thank God officer, I thought it was about the body in the trunk" she said with relief.

Shocked, the officer asked "Did you say you have a body in the trunk?" "Uh huh" she said matter of fact. "I'm going to need you to wait right here while I get my Captain" he officer instructed.

It was only minutes until the Captain arrived. He conversed briefly with his subordinate, and approached her car, "Ma'am, I understand you have a body in your trunk?". The woman gave him a look of disbelief and loudly asked "Are you out of you cotton picking mind? Who told you such a thing? Here, take these keys and look in the trunk!" she demanded.

With that the Captain opened the trunk to find an empty compartment and began to apologize profusely, to which the woman replied with a gleam in her eye "Now I guess that idiot is going to claim I was speeding too!"