Larry Gude
Strung Out
...Ravens.
March 5, 3pm est.
Washington, DC AP wire...
In a somewhat surprising move today, the Washington Redskins professional football team purchased a potential rival for the leagues "Super Bowl" title, the Baltimore Ravens, lock, stock and punters practice net.
Redskins owner, the young and very aggressive 37 year old Daniel Snyder, a DC native and lifelong team fan, unveiled his most recent and sure to be most controversial, to date, move.
When reached for comment Mr. Snyder stated "Look, I told Mr. Gibbs (past and most succesful Redskins coach recently lured from professional car racing if that makes any sense) he could have whatever, and I mean WHATEVER the #### he wanted."
Mr. Snyder stated further: "When the Ravens tipped my apple cart by grabbing TO (talented yet very annoying superstar wide reciever Terrell Owens, late of the San Francisco 49'ers due to refusal to join a gay marriage) I was ####ed with a capital P. Those bastards had already refused to deal me Ray. (As in Lewis, a linebacker and part time murder witness). So, #### em, I bought the company. Ha! HA HA! HAHAHAH!!!!"
At this point, Mr. Snyder, obviously amused by his comment, had to take an emergency call from Indianapolis, closing with a comment about getting a third quarterback for his team.
League sources, on request of anonymity, stated "eh, what the hell. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Look, it's cheaper to buy a team than it is to pay the signing bonus money that crazy sumbitch was throwing around. Let him know I'm available, would yah?"
Developing...
March 5, 3pm est.
Washington, DC AP wire...
In a somewhat surprising move today, the Washington Redskins professional football team purchased a potential rival for the leagues "Super Bowl" title, the Baltimore Ravens, lock, stock and punters practice net.
Redskins owner, the young and very aggressive 37 year old Daniel Snyder, a DC native and lifelong team fan, unveiled his most recent and sure to be most controversial, to date, move.
When reached for comment Mr. Snyder stated "Look, I told Mr. Gibbs (past and most succesful Redskins coach recently lured from professional car racing if that makes any sense) he could have whatever, and I mean WHATEVER the #### he wanted."
Mr. Snyder stated further: "When the Ravens tipped my apple cart by grabbing TO (talented yet very annoying superstar wide reciever Terrell Owens, late of the San Francisco 49'ers due to refusal to join a gay marriage) I was ####ed with a capital P. Those bastards had already refused to deal me Ray. (As in Lewis, a linebacker and part time murder witness). So, #### em, I bought the company. Ha! HA HA! HAHAHAH!!!!"
At this point, Mr. Snyder, obviously amused by his comment, had to take an emergency call from Indianapolis, closing with a comment about getting a third quarterback for his team.
League sources, on request of anonymity, stated "eh, what the hell. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Look, it's cheaper to buy a team than it is to pay the signing bonus money that crazy sumbitch was throwing around. Let him know I'm available, would yah?"
Developing...