'Respect For Marriage Act' To Send Another $50 Billion To Ukraine

[Kyle]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Respect for Marriage Act, which legalizes same-sex marriage nationwide, is expected to pass Congress. Sources now say one of the main drivers for its success is the additional $50 billion it authorized for the war effort in Ukraine.

"This act finally gives equal rights to those who want to marry someone of the same sex, or maybe a small forest creature, or possibly a video game character. It's all the same!" said Senator Chuck Schumer after the bill passed committee. "Also this bill provides essential funds for us to launder in Ukraine to fund our reelection campaigns, which is what this is really all about."

'Respect For Marriage Act' To Send Another $50 Billion To Ukraine

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Respect for Marriage Act, which legalizes same-sex marriage nationwide, is expected to pass Congress. Sources now say one of the main drivers for its success is the additional $50 billion it authorized for the war effort in Ukraine.

babylonbee.com

 

[Monello]

This is the last chance to get some of that cryptocash before the kid perishes due to arkancide.

 

[stgislander]

Damn it!!! I though it was real until I saw it was BB. My initial thought was it doesn't surprise me.

 

[Kyle]

Ilhan Omar Asks If She Can Quickly Add One More Kind Of Marriage To 'Respect For Marriage Act'


WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the Respect for Marriage Bill to codify gay marriage nearing final passage, Representative Ilhan Omar has asked for an additional amendment to allow another form of marriage people might want to take advantage of from time to time.

"Hey guys, I dunno, can we add, let's say, 'marriage to your own brother' to the list of officially recognized marriages?" said the Congresswoman from Minneapolis. "Like, say, if you want to rig the immigration system in your favor by marrying a relative, maybe we should just go ahead and legalize it, just in case. Not that I would do that myself, don't be silly."

The congresswoman has requested the new law be retroactive to cover anyone who may have engaged in this activity in the early 2000s. "That would ensure we, ya know, cover our bases and stuff," she said.

Ilhan Omar Asks If She Can Quickly Add One More Kind Of Marriage To 'Respect For Marriage Act'

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the Respect for Marriage Bill to codify gay marriage nearing final passage, Representative Ilhan Omar has asked for an additional amendment to allow another form of marriage people might want to take advantage of from time to time.

babylonbee.com