Return of the 1950s housewife?

[vraiblonde]

Men want women to believe, and go to great extremes, to convince women how wonderful they are, 'til they snag one. Then they turn out to be nothing more than lazy, good for nothing, needy pricks.

Boy, I hate to agree with that but there you have it.....

When was the last time some woman said to her husband, "Honey, have you seen my shoes?" Or, "Do we have any clean towels?" Or, "What's for dinner tonight?"

Then if you act anything other than thrilled to be Mommying some adult man, they call you bitter.

Yeah.

 

[This_person]

The word compromise comes to my mind. You don't play well with others, do you?

I was actually explaining that we work very, very well together. Neither one of us feels dumped on, nagged, nor bullied by the other. We have natural points that each of us finds we choose to do, and points that we work out well together by seeing what needs done and just acting responsibly towards our home and family.

 

[vraiblonde]

When you don't cook dinner because you've got no dishes, both you and your significant other will probably rethink how things are done.

Wouldn't it be nice if that's the way it worked?

 

[Cowgirl]

Wouldn't it be nice if that's the way it worked?

 

[This_person]

Are you suggesting that everyone thinks like you? I pretty much have the same relationship. Doesn't mean that a good deal of men don't think that "wife" picks up where "mom" left off. And if you disagree with me, you're in denial.

I don't disagree that there are men like that, but let's be even more honest - there are a great deal of women who think their job as "wife" is to be "mom" to their husband.

It's a codepenent, enabling kind of thing. The wife is no more the mother than the husband is a child. She should not act like his mother, nor treat him like he's her child. Both husband and wife will be happier if that happens.

 

[vraiblonde]

I was actually explaining that we work very, very well together. Neither one of us feels dumped on, nagged, nor bullied by the other. We have natural points that each of us finds we choose to do, and points that we work out well together by seeing what needs done and just acting responsibly towards our home and family.

If this is true, you are one in a million.

 

[Xaquin44]

hooray for generalizations from both men and women!

I've known worthless examples of both genders.

 

[This_person]

Men want women to believe, and go to great extremes, to convince women how wonderful they are, 'til they snag one. Then they turn out to be nothing more than lazy, good for nothing, needy pricks.

Yes, ONLY MEN change after marriage

Solid respect and responsible adult actions between husband and wife work much better than nagging, mother/son relationships. Treat him like a boy, and he'll never be your "man". EXPECT him to act like a man, without nagging him, and he will.

 

[mAlice]

If this is true, you are one in a million.

No, make that two. I have very few complaints about my S/O, and I can't think of a chore he's not willing to do.

This type of man is rare.

 

[pcjohnnyb]

I don't disagree that there are men like that, but let's be even more honest - there are a great deal of women who think their job as "wife" is to be "mom" to their husband.

It's a codepenent, enabling kind of thing. The wife is no more the mother than the husband is a child. She should not act like his mother, nor treat him like he's her child. Both husband and wife will be happier if that happens.

If this is true, you are one in a million.

Good god.





Look. It's very simple. If the woman is contributing significantly to the house, car, etc payments (like...half), then they can complain that half of the house "up-keep" should be done by the man...but until that point, the woman doesn't have a leg to stand on, in my book.

 

[This_person]

Boy, I hate to agree with that but there you have it.....

When was the last time some woman said to her husband, "Honey, have you seen my shoes?" Or, "Do we have any clean towels?" Or, "What's for dinner tonight?"

Then if you act anything other than thrilled to be Mommying some adult man, they call you bitter.

Yeah.

The best answer to "have you seen my shoes", or "do we have any clean towels" is "have you looked?" And, then, don't answer any more than that, unless you EXPECT to be the keeper of the clean towels and shoe locations.

 

[vraiblonde]

I don't disagree that there are men like that, but let's be even more honest - there are a great deal of women who think their job as "wife" is to be "mom" to their husband.

It's a codepenent, enabling kind of thing. The wife is no more the mother than the husband is a child. She should not act like his mother, nor treat him like he's her child. Both husband and wife will be happier if that happens.

Define that.

Because it's my experience that a man will think you're "mothering" him when you simply ask him to not leave his wet towel on the bathroom floor. Or when you suggest he put his clean clothes away instead of leaving them in the hamper in the middle of the bedroom.

If guys didn't act like children, women wouldn't feel the need to treat them like one.

:shrug:

 

[mAlice]

Yes, ONLY MEN change after marriage

Solid respect and responsible adult actions between husband and wife work much better than nagging, mother/son relationships. Treat him like a boy, and he'll never be your "man". EXPECT him to act like a man, without nagging him, and he will.

If you say so.

 

[This_person]

Wouldn't it be nice if that's the way it worked?

In my house, it is.

I don't EXPECT that she do the dishes, clean the floors, nor cook the dinners. I EXPECT each of us to act like adults, and treat the other that way, too.

 

[mAlice]

The best answer to "have you seen my shoes", or "do we have any clean towels" is "have you looked?" And, then, don't answer any more than that, unless you EXPECT to be the keeper of the clean towels and shoe locations.

I used to tell my husband "yeah, got it right here in my uterus."

 

[mAlice]

In my house, it is.

I don't EXPECT that she do the dishes, clean the floors, nor cook the dinners. I EXPECT each of us to act like adults, and treat the other that way, too.

It would be nice if all adults behaved that way, but in reality, they don't.

 

[vraiblonde]

EXPECT him to act like a man, without nagging him, and he will.

Define "nagging," please.

If you ask him to pick up his wet towel, he agrees to do so, then doesn't do it, what should the next action be? Pick it up for him? Ask him again? Ignore the wet towel?

 

[Xaquin44]

I used to tell my husband "yeah, got it right here in my uterus."

that's not where shoes go.

 

[mAlice]

Define "nagging," please.

If you ask him to pick up his wet towel, he agrees to do so, then doesn't do it, what should the next action be? Pick it up for him? Ask him again? Ignore the wet towel?

You're supposed to resign yourself to the fact that you live with a pig.

 

[This_person]

If this is true, you are one in a million.

Thank you, but I learned it from my wife!