Return of the 1950s housewife?

[mAlice]

that's not where shoes go.

 

[Xaquin44]

Define "nagging," please.

If you ask him to pick up his wet towel, he agrees to do so, then doesn't do it, what should the next action be? Pick it up for him? Ask him again? Ignore the wet towel?

trick question!

buy new towels and cheat on him!

 

[mAlice]

Thank you, but I learned it from my wife!

Tell us about that.

 

[Xaquin44]

look, I'm not trying to be in ya business, but if that's the sound they make getting there, you may need to see a doctor


woohoohoo

hehehe

=)

 

[vraiblonde]

I used to tell my husband "yeah, got it right here in my uterus."

I used to give Larry the answer, then I gave up on that and started responding, "Why are you asking me??"

Now he has his own house and can do whatever he pleases in it - dirty towels, no toilet paper on the roll, etc - and it doesn't bother me one little bit.

 

[mAlice]

look, I'm not trying to be in ya business, but if that's the sound they make getting there, you may need to see a doctor


woohoohoo

hehehe

=)

Typical post. Isn't there something in the religion thread you need to crap on?

 

[Xaquin44]

Typical post. Isn't there something in the religion thread you need to crap on?

dunno, I haven't seen one.

also, your post is typical too in some way!

 

[toppick08]

I do it all........and deep...

 

[Wenchy]

Burn the bras! Submissive, mousy, quiet, women who are incapable of independent thought, SUCK.

This doesn't describe me at all. I can have a career or stay at home and I'm the same as I ever was.

It is nice not wearing a bra.

 

[kwillia]

Wouldn't it be nice if that's the way it worked?

 

[This_person]

Define that.

Because it's my experience that a man will think you're "mothering" him when you simply ask him to not leave his wet towel on the bathroom floor. Or when you suggest he put his clean clothes away instead of leaving them in the hamper in the middle of the bedroom.

If guys didn't act like children, women wouldn't feel the need to treat them like one.

:shrug:

It's a simple consequences thing. Leave his wet towel on the floor, and when it gets mildewy and he either has to replace it because it has holes, or he gets sick from it, he'll stop doing it. If he doesn't put his clothes away, WHO CARES? If they're not folded, and you simply say, "I'm going out to dinner tonight, but I'm not going with you because you look like a rumpled bedsheet because you didn't fold and put away your laundry", he'll get the hint that he needs to fold and put away his laundry. If he doesn't, THEN it's up to you to decide if you'd rather go out without your husband, or just fold it and put it away yourself for him. YOU have that choice, and so does he.

That does NOT mean you'll end up doing everything. You may end up not caring about some things and decide they don't need done. HE may end up caring about things he didn't previously care about, and will do them. HE may end up doing things that you won't do or don't want to do as a trade-off. Compromise was a good word, and works if everybody treats the other with respect.

 

[This_person]

I used to tell my husband "yeah, got it right here in my uterus."

 

[Dye Tied]

It's a simple consequences thing. Leave his wet towel on the floor, and when it gets mildewy and he either has to replace it because it has holes, or he gets sick from it, he'll stop doing it. If he doesn't put his clothes away, WHO CARES? If they're not folded, and you simply say, "I'm going out to dinner tonight, but I'm not going with you because you look like a rumpled bedsheet because you didn't fold and put away your laundry", he'll get the hint that he needs to fold and put away his laundry. If he doesn't, THEN it's up to you to decide if you'd rather go out without your husband, or just fold it and put it away yourself for him. YOU have that choice, and so does he.

That does NOT mean you'll end up doing everything. You may end up not caring about some things and decide they don't need done. HE may end up caring about things he didn't previously care about, and will do them. HE may end up doing things that you won't do or don't want to do as a trade-off. Compromise was a good word, and works if everybody treats the other with respect.

Don't people play enough games without adding more? Shouldn't more communication be added instead of games?

 

[This_person]

It would be nice if all adults behaved that way, but in reality, they don't.

Well, nobody's perfect. You'll fail, he'll fail, at different times.

Remember when you got married? Somebody probably told you the story about "the bridge". You were probably asked if you thought marriage was a 50-50 relationship, and you both nodded vigorously yes. Then, the person asking probably said something like, well, I hope neither of you is ever sick, or down for the day, or what-have-you, because then there will be gaps in your marriage. You probably looked at them like they were from Pluto, not understanding at first. That person probably then told you that marriage is a bridge between two people, and that you each have to give 100%, not a 50-50 mix. Because, neither of you will be full on all the time (it's impossible), so if you're both down to 75%, there's still the whole gap covered and then some.

Marriage doesn't work 50-50. It has to be 100-100. It's FULLY each of your responsibility.

 

[This_person]

Define "nagging," please.

If you ask him to pick up his wet towel, he agrees to do so, then doesn't do it, what should the next action be? Pick it up for him? Ask him again? Ignore the wet towel?

Ignore the wet towel. Push it back out of your way, and move on with your life. Unless you intend on being Larry's towel girl, ignore the towel. Maybe not the first time, maybe not the fifth, but sooner than later he will pick it up.

 

[mAlice]

Well, nobody's perfect. You'll fail, he'll fail, at different times.

Remember when you got married? Somebody probably told you the story about "the bridge". You were probably asked if you thought marriage was a 50-50 relationship, and you both nodded vigorously yes. Then, the person asking probably said something like, well, I hope neither of you is ever sick, or down for the day, or what-have-you, because then there will be gaps in your marriage. You probably looked at them like they were from Pluto, not understanding at first. That person probably then told you that marriage is a bridge between two people, and that you each have to give 100%, not a 50-50 mix. Because, neither of you will be full on all the time (it's impossible), so if you're both down to 75%, there's still the whole gap covered and then some.

Marriage doesn't work 50-50. It has to be 100-100. It's FULLY each of your responsibility.

Nope, never heard that story.

 

[Wenchy]

I used to give Larry the answer, then I gave up on that and started responding, "Why are you asking me??"

Now he has his own house and can do whatever he pleases in it - dirty towels, no toilet paper on the roll, etc - and it doesn't bother me one little bit.

Ah-so.

 

[pcjohnnyb]

Well, nobody's perfect. You'll fail, he'll fail, at different times.

Remember when you got married? Somebody probably told you the story about "the bridge". You were probably asked if you thought marriage was a 50-50 relationship, and you both nodded vigorously yes. Then, the person asking probably said something like, well, I hope neither of you is ever sick, or down for the day, or what-have-you, because then there will be gaps in your marriage. You probably looked at them like they were from Pluto, not understanding at first. That person probably then told you that marriage is a bridge between two people, and that you each have to give 100%, not a 50-50 mix. Because, neither of you will be full on all the time (it's impossible), so if you're both down to 75%, there's still the whole gap covered and then some.

Marriage doesn't work 50-50. It has to be 100-100. It's FULLY each of your responsibility.

That is completely stupid.
In ratios...everyone should know that 100/100 = 50/50

 

[vraiblonde]

It's a simple consequences thing. Leave his wet towel on the floor, and when it gets mildewy and he either has to replace it because it has holes, or he gets sick from it, he'll stop doing it. If he doesn't put his clothes away, WHO CARES? If they're not folded, and you simply say, "I'm going out to dinner tonight, but I'm not going with you because you look like a rumpled bedsheet because you didn't fold and put away your laundry", he'll get the hint that he needs to fold and put away his laundry. If he doesn't, THEN it's up to you to decide if you'd rather go out without your husband, or just fold it and put it away yourself for him. YOU have that choice, and so does he.

First of all, I have to live with the wet towels on the floor and the laundry hamper in the middle of the room, too. I am not willing to do that.

Second, it's a matter of mutual respect. It's not too much to ask that a guy who dressed nicely and was well-groomed when you were dating continue those habits after he traps you into marrying him.

 

[vraiblonde]

Ignore the wet towel. Push it back out of your way, and move on with your life. Unless you intend on being Larry's towel girl, ignore the towel. Maybe not the first time, maybe not the fifth, but sooner than later he will pick it up.

I ignore the towel just fine now.