Sh*t My Dad Says

[Misfit]

http://www.amazon.com/Sh-Dad-Says-Low-Price/dp/0062073400

I started reading this last night, it had me in tears.

“I don't give a F### how it happened, the window is broken... Wait, why is there syrup everywhere? Okay, you know what? Now I give a F### how it happened, Let's hear it.”

“Sometimes life leaves a hundred-dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later it's because it F###ed you.”

“Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.”

“That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.”

“Oh spare me, being stuck in your bedroom is not like prison. You don't have to worry about being gang-raped in your bedroom.”

“On Asking to Have the Candy Passed to Me During Schindler’s List “What do you want — the candy? They’re throwing people in the F###ing gas chamber, and you want a Skittles?”

“There seem to be a lot of gay people there...Oh please, as if that's what I meant by that. Trust me, none of them would ever want to F### you anyway. They're gay, not blind.”

“On Accidentally Eating Dog Treats
“Snausages? I’ve been eating dog treats? Why the F### would you put them on the counter where the rest of the food is? F### it, they’re delicious. I will not be shamed by this.”

“If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.”

 

[vraiblonde]

That was a great book

 

[Tami2red]

That was a great book

What she said. I'm too sick to say anything else.