Single, dating with children at home

[Monello]

You meet someone new that seems interesting and you think you may have a lot in common. Finding out more about them reveals they are raising children alone. For some people that could be a deal breaker. A few don't want to have to raise someone else's kids. Then again others look at them as a package deal, where the partner and the kids come as one.

Or maybe you are the one with children. How long before you let them around your kids? Do you have any special rules that you live by to ensure your children's safety and well being?

 

[Radiant1]

Or maybe you are the one with children. How long before you let them around your kids? Do you have any special rules that you live by to ensure your children's safety and well being?

It's depended on the ages of my children and the person in question. It took me four months of dating before bringing an ex around my children and even then I kept it limited. It took six weeks for my current partner who became involved with us rather quickly. A background check had already been done on both.

 

[Jeter3000]

ALWAYS run a judiciary case search before the first date. This is not an exception under any circumstance. Enjoy a family dinner at a public restaurant, ball game, park etc. Always go with your gut instinct, don't settle or make excuses because you are afraid to be alone. Or you're co-dependent. Whatever. When you feel there is a possibility this person may be a permanent part of your life, an invite to the home is acceptable. I know that I may sound like a paranoid fruit loop, but the children come first. A parent can never be too safe. Better safe than sorry.

 

[vraiblonde]

When my kids were young I used to only date men I knew through other people or had hung out with for awhile before leveling up. It was never a situation where some new guy that I didn't even know well was suddenly introduced to my kids, or I had to tell him I had young kids. Most of the time my kids knew them before we got involved, and didn't even realize we *were* involved until I told them many years later. "OMG! You dated Uncle Shaun???"

Discretion. I never really felt my kids needed to be involved in my personal life.

 

[libertytyranny]

I rarely even mention my daughter to men i'm dating. I don't hide it or anything but I look at it this way. My daughter has a father and a very good involved one. That's not what I'm looking for...the fact is that no one will meet her or be involved with her unless it is extremely serious so that excludes most men.

I get flack for it sometimes from moms who think that I should reflexively mention my child constantly or that I should introduce him to see "how he is with kids" and I disagree. I am dating for me. Obviously if I choose someone to have a serious relationship with then considerations about my daughter will be at the top of the list. Until then she has no need to know about my dating lfe. it is seperate from my mom life. i'll never understand people who think that the kids have to be the main consideration from the get go..i think it is totally ok to let someone get to know you as a real person and fellow human before knowing mom/dad you.

 

[Bann]

I rarely even mention my daughter to men i'm dating. I don't hide it or anything but I look at it this way. My daughter has a father and a very good involved one. That's not what I'm looking for...the fact is that no one will meet her or be involved with her unless it is extremely serious so that excludes most men.

I get flack for it sometimes from moms who think that I should reflexively mention my child constantly or that I should introduce him to see "how he is with kids" and I disagree. I am dating for me. Obviously if I choose someone to have a serious relationship with then considerations about my daughter will be at the top of the list. Until then she has no need to know about my dating lfe. it is seperate from my mom life. i'll never understand people who think that the kids have to be the main consideration from the get go..i think it is totally ok to let someone get to know you as a real person and fellow human before knowing mom/dad you.

 

[Radiant1]

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