Southern Lady!

[PelyKat]

Southern Lady...

A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man getting ready to jump.

She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father."
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."
He replied, ''Who's Robert E. Lee?''

She replied, ''Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumbass Yankee."

 

[migtig]

The fall wouldn't have killed him anyway. The stupid Rangers used to jump off it as some kind of silly initiation when it was first opened.

 

[SamSpade]

The fall wouldn't have killed him anyway. The stupid Rangers used to jump off it as some kind of silly initiation when it was first opened.

See, I KNEW that was you!

Did he live?

 

[MysticalMom]

Reminds me of my Carolina born and bred mother.

Forwarding to her, she'll appreciate this one.

 

[Pete]

The fall wouldn't have killed him anyway. The stupid Rangers used to jump off it as some kind of silly initiation when it was first opened.

It depends, the one in Savanah you are correct. The one in Augusta he probably would hit a barrel of toxic waste floating down river and die.

 

[migtig]

See, I KNEW that was you!

Did he live?

Yep but the Coast Guard was waiting to scoop him up out of the river and arrest him for being a dumbass Yankee.

 

[mAlice]

Two ladies were sitting next to each other on a plane. One was a Yankee and the other, a Southern Belle. The Southern Belle turned to the Yankee and asks, "So where y'all from?"

The Yankee turned her steely gaze to the Southern Belle and replied, "I am from a place where we do NOT end our sentences with a preposition."

Silence ensued and the flight continued until a few minutes later when the Southern Belle again turned to the Yankee and asked, "So, where are y'all from, #####?"

 

[LuckyDog4]

Two ladies were sitting next to each other on a plane. One was a Yankee and the other, a Southern Belle. The Southern Belle turned to the Yankee and asks, "So where y'all from?"

The Yankee turned her steely gaze to the Southern Belle and replied, "I am from a place where we do NOT end our sentences with a preposition."

Silence ensued and the flight continued until a few minutes later when the Southern Belle again turned to the Yankee and asked, "So, where are y'all from, #####?"

Now that's funny. I don't care who ya are.

Carry on.

 

[mAlice]

My all time favorite.


Four southern belles were discussing their husbands one afternoon

1st Southern Belle: "Well, ah do declare, my husband is so good to me.
He brings me diamonds near' every day of the week. I got a diamond
ring for every finger."

2SB: "My My My"

3SB: "You know, my husbands is the same way. He brings me fur coats
all the time. I got a whole closet full of fur coats."

2SB: "My My My"

4SB: "Mine too. He takes me on cruises and trips. I've been nearly
everywhere on this whole blessed earth."

2SB: "My My My"

(Nervous pause)

1SB to 2SB: "How does your husband treat you?"

2SB: "Oh, my husband is good to me too. He sent me off to finishin' school."

(Nervous pause)

3SB to 2SB: "Finishin' school? What good is goin' to finishin' school?"

2SB: "Well, I used to say 'eff you, b!tch', now I just say 'My My My.'"

 

[migtig]

Now Elaine's jokes are funny.

 

[mAlice]

Now Elaine's jokes are funny.

I thought ya'll would like those.

 

[Tonio]

How does a Southern Belle respond when a man ends a sentence with a proposition? Does she slap him in the face with her parasol, or does she invite him upstairs for a mint julep?

 

[mAlice]

How does a Southern Belle respond when a man ends a sentence with a proposition? Does she slap him in the face with her parasol, or does she invite him upstairs for a mint julep?

That would depend on the southern belle.