Spontaneous church combustion is a real worry these days. It is a growing concern. You never know when you might be near or in a church when it spontaneously sets itself alight. Churches largely made of stone, which have stood peacefully for centuries, bursting into flames completely of their own accord, and certainly not being the victims of arson, are just one of the realities of the Western world, now. It’s just what happens. There is no possible way to prevent it, or mitigate against it, and, to be honest, you’re a bit of a weirdo if you even notice or comment on it at all. Noticing is not really allowed.
Buildings spontaneously burning down are a perfectly normal event—as natural as a flower turning towards the sun or the cycle of the seasons. Oil refineries, food processing plants, police evidence warehouses, gas pipelines, and cathedrals are all examples of buildings and facilities that will typically burn down or blow up spontaneously. That’s life; that’s how the world is, so get used to it. If noticing this bothers you, it’s best you simply stop noticing. Noticing is what bigots and white supremacists do—you’re not one of them, are you?
Take, for instance, the spontaneous combustion of St Mark’s church in St John’s Wood, London, last weekend. A Grade II listed building, a beautiful piece of cultural heritage, an architectural and historical treasure—well, it went ahead and just burned itself down. That’s just how it goes. That’s part and parcel of the West, now. No proper investigation is needed. It’s obviously a case of spontaneous church combustion. If you think there is even the possibility of an alternative reason, that’s probably your white privilege on display. You’re being systemically racist. Stop asking questions, McCarthy. Stop noticing.
The tendency for Christian places of worship to spontaneously burn down, and occasionally even blow up, is a well-established phenomenon, particularly in France. It is a simple fact of physics that nothing can be done to prevent the trend of churches, abbeys, and cathedrals combusting for no reason, or for their priests to be inexplicably murdered by no one in particular. Nothing can prevent it. Nothing can be done. Trying to protect these places of national heritage is as futile as seeking the elixir of everlasting life. Only a madman would try such a thing. You’re not mad, are you?
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Buildings spontaneously burning down are a perfectly normal event—as natural as a flower turning towards the sun or the cycle of the seasons. Oil refineries, food processing plants, police evidence warehouses, gas pipelines, and cathedrals are all examples of buildings and facilities that will typically burn down or blow up spontaneously. That’s life; that’s how the world is, so get used to it. If noticing this bothers you, it’s best you simply stop noticing. Noticing is what bigots and white supremacists do—you’re not one of them, are you?
Take, for instance, the spontaneous combustion of St Mark’s church in St John’s Wood, London, last weekend. A Grade II listed building, a beautiful piece of cultural heritage, an architectural and historical treasure—well, it went ahead and just burned itself down. That’s just how it goes. That’s part and parcel of the West, now. No proper investigation is needed. It’s obviously a case of spontaneous church combustion. If you think there is even the possibility of an alternative reason, that’s probably your white privilege on display. You’re being systemically racist. Stop asking questions, McCarthy. Stop noticing.
The tendency for Christian places of worship to spontaneously burn down, and occasionally even blow up, is a well-established phenomenon, particularly in France. It is a simple fact of physics that nothing can be done to prevent the trend of churches, abbeys, and cathedrals combusting for no reason, or for their priests to be inexplicably murdered by no one in particular. Nothing can prevent it. Nothing can be done. Trying to protect these places of national heritage is as futile as seeking the elixir of everlasting life. Only a madman would try such a thing. You’re not mad, are you?
Spontaneous Church Combustion | Lotus Eaters
Silver Members - Listen to Audio VersionSpontaneous church combustion is a real worry these days. It is a growing concern. You never know when you might be near or in a church when it spontaneously sets itself alight. Churches largely made of stone, which have stoodnot being the victims of...