Larry Gude
Strung Out
...calls me, says "Hey, how's it going?"
I say "Nextel sucks balls. Radio sucks, phone signal sucks. Just sucks."
S/N "Great, great, well, where are you? ...Ok, shows here you got a few bad spots, uh huh..."
LG "No. Sucks EVERYWHERE and everyone I know who has one."
S/N "Right, right, well, that's good because the reason I am calling is because we have a new SUPER phone that works on both the Nextel AND Sprint systems, isn't that great?"
LG "So, Sucks squared?"
S/N "No, no! In fact, we can send you these SUPER phones, normally $250, for a mere $59! Isn't that great!?"
LG "Discounted sucking? Oh yeah. Count me in! Can I get 4?"
S/N "..."
S/N "..."
LG "WELL? I'm busy hear!"
LG "Uh, well, it seems the new Super phone, regularly $250, for you only $59 is...well...not available in your area yet..."
LG "OK. So, how would I tell the difference with what I have now?"
S/N "We'll call you back when it rolls in your area! In the mean time, I am crediting your account $5 for talking with me today!"
LG "Isn't it normally $250???"
I say "Nextel sucks balls. Radio sucks, phone signal sucks. Just sucks."
S/N "Great, great, well, where are you? ...Ok, shows here you got a few bad spots, uh huh..."
LG "No. Sucks EVERYWHERE and everyone I know who has one."
S/N "Right, right, well, that's good because the reason I am calling is because we have a new SUPER phone that works on both the Nextel AND Sprint systems, isn't that great?"
LG "So, Sucks squared?"
S/N "No, no! In fact, we can send you these SUPER phones, normally $250, for a mere $59! Isn't that great!?"
LG "Discounted sucking? Oh yeah. Count me in! Can I get 4?"
S/N "..."
S/N "..."
LG "WELL? I'm busy hear!"
LG "Uh, well, it seems the new Super phone, regularly $250, for you only $59 is...well...not available in your area yet..."
LG "OK. So, how would I tell the difference with what I have now?"
S/N "We'll call you back when it rolls in your area! In the mean time, I am crediting your account $5 for talking with me today!"
LG "Isn't it normally $250???"