2lazy2P
nothing unreal exists
Sure you have heard many of these before, but thought I would post yet another thread of this kind just incase there are some new ones.
- Why are boxing rings square?
- Why if you tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a bench is wet paint, he has to touch it.
- If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but just one, what do you call it?
- Why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
- How can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?
- Why is QUITE A FEW the same as QUITE A LOT?
- How does a building burn up as it burns down?
- How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
- IF "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro", then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?
- Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients, but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?
- How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it?
- Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
- What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
- If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- What's another word for synonym?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
- What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
- Would a fly that loses its wings be called a walk?
- If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
- Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Why is it that we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
- If you drove your car at the speed of light, and you turned your headlights on, would they work?
- If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
- When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
- Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- How come abbreviated is such a long word?
- Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
- Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
- Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of ear-rings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
- If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from?
- What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
- If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
- If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
- Why do manufactures of ladders put stickers on the top step of ladders warning you not to step on that step? Wouldn't it be better if there was no step to step on.
