Third runner-up: If a woman ran the United States, we would never declare war. We would just attack, and when the country asked us why, we'd say, "Oh, I think you know why." (Seth Brown, Williamstown, Mass.)
And the winner of the Painted Potties decal set: If women ran the porn industry, the climax of the movie would be when the man shouts, "I was wrong!" (Tom McCudden, Durham, N.C.)
Construction workers: "Hey, look at that cutie boy -- I'd like to take HIM shopping for lamps . . ." (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)
If women controlled politics, men wouldn't have elections every time you turn around, and when they did have one, their elections would last much longer. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
Football: Holding would no longer be a penalty; in fact, it would be mandatory after each play. (David Lang, Olney)
