Tax Time Joke

SAB

Shirley
The IRS decides to audit Ralph and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."


"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "Want a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bit e my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.



Then Ralph offers to bet him two thousand dollars that he can bite his good eye.


Now the auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now

realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a

witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands on one side of the desk and unzips his pants, but, although he strains mightily, he urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney pales and puts his head in his hands.


"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," moans the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here, PEE all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."
 
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