Texas Pete 2008 plans global U.N. ban...

[FromTexas]

Platform Item 6,293B - We call for a global ban on the U.N.! Our first action will be to call a meeting of the entire body of the U.N. We will then throw in a slew of papers on possible dictators that need stomping but also have large pockets to bribe with. While they are busy trying to find out what side they are on with endless chatter, we will chain shut all the doors, weld them up, and put bars over the windows. Humanely, we will shut off the water so their throats will dry to the point they can not speak. We do not want them to torture each other in their last moments. Finally, we will attach super boosters to the bottom of the U.N. building, attach a guidance system, and send them into space. This will solve two problems:

1) The U.N. itself
2) We should reduce hot gases increasing global warming by 5% once they stop speaking

 

[SamSpade]

Even better - make sure the next 747 to crash into a building in NYC is guided by fighters to only hit the UN.

 

[FromTexas]

Even better - make sure the next 747 to crash into a building in NYC is guided by fighters to only hit the UN.

We are looking for 100% solutions. That may only be a 30% solution.

 

[2ndAmendment]

Have any yard signs. I'll put some up.

 

[FromTexas]

Have any yard signs. I'll put some up.

I am restricted by Ken King. He said he would rat me out to some piddly little corporation with some piddly little copyright infringement issue. He also said he would rat me out to some legal office on base for some minor little running for public office issue. Pete is under no such restriction because he has kung fu.

 

[FromTexas]

We may also have to get on the IPod bandwagon... !

 

[Ken King]

I am restricted by Ken King. He said he would rat me out to some piddly little corporation with some piddly little copyright infringement issue. He also said he would rat me out to some legal office on base for some minor little running for public office issue. Pete is under no such restriction because he has kung fu.

Only because I have been offered a cut of the insuing fine placed upon your effort should you proceed, now if you would care to grease my palms in the good old American political fashion I might just not see a thing.

 

[FromTexas]

Only because I have been offered a cut of the insuing fine placed upon your effort should you proceed, now if you would care to grease my palms in the good old American political fashion I might just not see a thing.

Would you like your palms greased in the Clinton/Intern fashion or the more traditional Boss Tweed fashion?

 

[Ken King]

Would you like your palms greased in the Clinton/Intern fashion or the more traditional Boss Tweed fashion?

Keep it on the green spendable side please, the slickness of Willy style is better suited for those in blue dresses.

 

[FromTexas]

Keep it on the green spendable side please, the slickness of Willy style is better suited for those in blue dresses.

I will PDF a check by email... I will use NMCI to send it.

 

[Larry Gude]

Before this campaign goes any further...

...and we all get on board, I want it made clear I am not interested in any, shall we say, surprises, being dug up on you boys. So, for one and all, right here, right now, I want an answer;

Are either of you guys...on the sauce?

 

[Ken King]

I will PDF a check by email... I will use NMCI to send it.

With an expected delivery date of sometime around the turn of the century. No thanks, cash will work fine, small non-sequential bills please.

 

[FromTexas]

...and we all get on board, I want it made clear I am not interested in any, shall we say, surprises, being dug up on you boys. So, for one and all, right here, right now, I want an answer;

Are either of you guys...on the sauce?

I have to confess... I haven't been able to kick my Picante addiction. I have been mainlining it for years.

 

[FromTexas]

With an expected delivery date of sometime around the turn of the century. No thanks, cash will work fine, small non-sequential bills please.

Too late. I already sent the check.