The Blonde paint job

[nawty1]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

 

[Tigerlily]

 

[Railroad]

A blonde decides to show her husband that she really can do some things without his help. She goes to Lowe's and buys paint to repaint their living room, and gets the brushes and rollers, etc.

That night, her husband gets home from work and finds her passed out on the floor from heat exhaustion, bundled up like the Ice age has returned, with an overcoat over a parka.

When he revives her and gets the coats off of her, and cools her down, he asks what happened.

"I was trying to paint the living room," she sobbed, "and I was trying to follow all the directions. On the side of the can, it said, 'For best results, Put on two coats.' "

 

[nawty1]