I about pizzed myself reading the story. The best part is the picture of the "demonic gargoyle" at the end. This is EXACTLY why I don't live in a neighborhood with a HOA.
I am officially tearing page six out of my guidelines and wiping my aZZ with it. I will then post it to the tree nearest my mailbox for all your visitors to see. Feel free to take it down and examine it or use it as evidence against my in your little lawsuit.