The last little bit

[Nonno]

The last little bit | Neptunus Lex


I should probably let this go, but somehow cannot.
A few years back the Hobbit and I learned that we were pregnant, again. We were of a certain age, so there were tests to perform, but our joy was complete as we headed back east to spend holidays with the family for a few weeks.
When we returned to California there were multiple messages waiting for us on the answering machine. Each of them couched in increasingly urgent tones. We would have to come in for “counseling.” Right away.
It turned out that there was some irregularity in an amino fetal protein test that indicated an outsized chance that our unborn child would be arrive in the world severely disabled. Spina bifida perhaps. Maybe Down’s Syndrome. Not our fault, nothing we had done. These things happen as a couple age. There was just time to “take care of things” under state law. Delay too much, and nothing could be done. Not in California, anyway.
How sure were they? we asked. Our hearts dying inside of us.

 

[itsbob]

Great story from 15 years ago.

I think genetics have come a long way since then.

BG and I went through this as we were 'older' parents, and there was much more involved than "Amino tests". We were counseled prior to the tests, what our ages could mean, what the testing tests for, and doesn't test for, the accuracy of the tests, and how they would further test to be 100% sure.

Lucky for us we didn't have to make "the decision" as all the tests came back in the normal range.

BUT I think if you are going to bring this up for discussion you'd use a 'story' from today, not 15 years ago.

 

[myjobismommy]

As a mother of a certain age, I believe over 35 is considered a geriatric pregnancy, we skipped the tests. Gave birth to an ill child, who survived the odds and was determined to be normal. Two years later he is autistic. He may not be normal, but he's our beautiful son and we don't love him any less - in fact we may even love him a little more. He can't talk, he can't understand too much - but he loves his cars and toys, swinign, chasing and wrestling. He's a fresh smile every morning and a long firm hug every night before bed. We have a daughter also - who is normal and we love her too.

You can't control the odds of children - but you can love the kids you are blessed to have.

 

[foodcritic]

As a mother of a certain age, I believe over 35 is considered a geriatric pregnancy, we skipped the tests. Gave birth to an ill child, who survived the odds and was determined to be normal. Two years later he is autistic. He may not be normal, but he's our beautiful son and we don't love him any less - in fact we may even love him a little more. He can't talk, he can't understand too much - but he loves his cars and toys, swinign, chasing and wrestling. He's a fresh smile every morning and a long firm hug every night before bed. We have a daughter also - who is normal and we love her too.

You can't control the odds of children - but you can love the kids you are blessed to have.

God knew you were the right parents for your children. My son has a physical handicap and I would not trade him for another child in a million years. You sometimes morn for what they will miss out on but I know that God has blessed him and has made him perfect in his eyes. Keep up the great work a mothers love (and fathers love ) is the best love a child can receive.

 

[puggymom]

I think this is a beautiful story about raising a child with a disabilty:
Welcome to Holland

 

[foodcritic]

I think this is a beautiful story about raising a child with a disabilty:
Welcome to Holland

Someone gave this to me when I was pregnant with my son 11 years ago. We knew before he was born that he would have a disablility. I still have it. When you are going through the pain of finding out about your child it is hard to believe but after a while you understand the "Holland" is a beautiful place.