Secretary Kennedy has obviously been a very busy boy. And he’s clearly no sentimentalist. Astonishingly, NPR ran yesterday’s most accurate HHS headline. To wit: “The Trump administration restructures federal health agencies, cuts 20,000 jobs.” Boom.
Let’s pause a moment. I’d like to speak directly to all the people who, like me, fumed during the pandemic’s deadly bureaucratic excesses. We passionately longed for mass firings at the public health agencies. We wished upon a star that thousands would get pink slips for what they did. But we never allowed ourselves to hope, not really, because it was too much to hope for. Because, honestly, when has anyone in government ever been accountable for anything?
Welp, be of great cheer. Today is our day. It’s finally here! Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., strode into the Department of Health and Human Services like a multi-armed spanking robot set on ‘high.’ Yesterday, HHS announced a total downsizing of 20,000 jobs, reducing headcount from 82,000 to 62,000. Not only that, but Kennedy is slashing the total number of divisions within HHS practically in half, evaporating the health behemoth to 15 divisions from 28 (it had been happily shooting for 30).
It was truly an astonishing comeuppance for the so-called “health” agency, but it was not just that. Secretary Kennedy explained, “We aren't just reducing bureaucratic sprawl. We are realigning the organization with its core mission and our new priorities in reversing the chronic disease epidemic.” He plans to do more with less. He continued, “This Department will do more –a lot more– at a lower cost to the taxpayer.”
Call me crazy, but reversing the chronic disease epidemic should always have been HHS’s top priority, But that’s because I am a stupid moron who didn’t get into an Ivy League school where I’d have learned that the country’s real problems don’t come from viruses, bacteria, or chemicals. No, if I were a properly thought-trained élite, like they are, I’d understand that the real problems come from people’s ideas and opinions, especially when they cling to their Bibles and guns and believe different stuff from Ivy League professors.
So, i.e., the “real” health epidemic is racism. Not cancer, dummies.
You can imagine how it probably took a lot of meeting, planning, and talking to figure out which 20,000 employees to cut and how to compress 28 sub-agencies down into only 15. Now we know what Kennedy has been doing during his first few weeks in the office. It’s terrific news, and it’s just what many of us prayed for while suffering under the yokes of censorship and being mandated to do patently irrational and downright dumb things.
Seriously, being forced to wear a hospital mask at Publix made us feel like how the North Koreans must feel whenever their porky Dictator-de-jeur orders everybody to clap for an hour straight. Faster! Now do it standing on one leg! Even faster! Now stick your tongues out! Guards! Kill that one! And that one!
Anyway. Dear health agency employees, I am sure some of you are hardworking, honest folks who did your best. But you should have spoken up. Now you face the spanking robot. Bend over.
This segment is running long, so I won’t bother mocking the various “experts” quoted by NPR, who all swore on their Satanic bibles that re-focusing on biological health —as opposed to ideological health— is going to kill everybody. Especially children!!
Allow me to be first to defy the “experts.” I’m predicting this mass reorganization will actually help Make America Healthy Again.
www.coffeeandcovid.com
Let’s pause a moment. I’d like to speak directly to all the people who, like me, fumed during the pandemic’s deadly bureaucratic excesses. We passionately longed for mass firings at the public health agencies. We wished upon a star that thousands would get pink slips for what they did. But we never allowed ourselves to hope, not really, because it was too much to hope for. Because, honestly, when has anyone in government ever been accountable for anything?
Welp, be of great cheer. Today is our day. It’s finally here! Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., strode into the Department of Health and Human Services like a multi-armed spanking robot set on ‘high.’ Yesterday, HHS announced a total downsizing of 20,000 jobs, reducing headcount from 82,000 to 62,000. Not only that, but Kennedy is slashing the total number of divisions within HHS practically in half, evaporating the health behemoth to 15 divisions from 28 (it had been happily shooting for 30).
It was truly an astonishing comeuppance for the so-called “health” agency, but it was not just that. Secretary Kennedy explained, “We aren't just reducing bureaucratic sprawl. We are realigning the organization with its core mission and our new priorities in reversing the chronic disease epidemic.” He plans to do more with less. He continued, “This Department will do more –a lot more– at a lower cost to the taxpayer.”
Call me crazy, but reversing the chronic disease epidemic should always have been HHS’s top priority, But that’s because I am a stupid moron who didn’t get into an Ivy League school where I’d have learned that the country’s real problems don’t come from viruses, bacteria, or chemicals. No, if I were a properly thought-trained élite, like they are, I’d understand that the real problems come from people’s ideas and opinions, especially when they cling to their Bibles and guns and believe different stuff from Ivy League professors.
So, i.e., the “real” health epidemic is racism. Not cancer, dummies.
You can imagine how it probably took a lot of meeting, planning, and talking to figure out which 20,000 employees to cut and how to compress 28 sub-agencies down into only 15. Now we know what Kennedy has been doing during his first few weeks in the office. It’s terrific news, and it’s just what many of us prayed for while suffering under the yokes of censorship and being mandated to do patently irrational and downright dumb things.
Seriously, being forced to wear a hospital mask at Publix made us feel like how the North Koreans must feel whenever their porky Dictator-de-jeur orders everybody to clap for an hour straight. Faster! Now do it standing on one leg! Even faster! Now stick your tongues out! Guards! Kill that one! And that one!
Anyway. Dear health agency employees, I am sure some of you are hardworking, honest folks who did your best. But you should have spoken up. Now you face the spanking robot. Bend over.
This segment is running long, so I won’t bother mocking the various “experts” quoted by NPR, who all swore on their Satanic bibles that re-focusing on biological health —as opposed to ideological health— is going to kill everybody. Especially children!!
Allow me to be first to defy the “experts.” I’m predicting this mass reorganization will actually help Make America Healthy Again.
☕️ ACCOUNTABILITY ROBOTS ☙ Friday, March 28, 2025 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠
Massive HHS shakeup under RFK; vaccine policy overhaul; lefties roast Biden’s broadband flop; MS kills income tax; AL deregulates meds; breakthrough new study slams jabs—again; more.