ugh

[SmallTown]

So I was standing there browsing the DVD section at Target. I see someone walking along behind me from my right to left. The person gets about 7 or 8 feet from me, and lets one rip. Not talking about one of those "This should be a silent one, I'll let it go". Oh no, one of those long juicy ones. Normally when someone does this, they'll continue to walk away from it. Oh no, not this guy. He stops right there and begins to look at movies. I start to walk in the other direction, but I just had to get a glimpse of this person so I look down his way. He's this old, big, fat tub of sh!t. Felt like yelling down "Hey! Maybe if you quit eating so much fat and greasy food you could control your ass while at target!"

To top it off, as I'm walking towards the cashiers I see him walking in front of me. I literally run past him because there was no way I was going to stand behind that ass in line (we were both heading to the only open express checkout)

 

[Oz]

Some guy farted, and you dashed...

Everyone in the general area probably thought you farted. I never know what to do in that situation so I just turn and say "Hey - good one! I could never compete with that!"

 

[vraiblonde]

My uncle will let one rip in a public place, then look at my aunt and go, "Well TRUDY!!! "

 

[K_Jo]

My uncle will let one rip in a public place, then look at my aunt and go, "Well TRUDY!!! "

I had a boyfriend who used to fart anytime, anywhere, in front of anybody. Including my mom!

Because of that experience, C and I established a "no farting" rule early on. Our motto: "Hold it til your eyes bleed!"

 

[tomchamp]

Ahh, someone light a match!

 

[BuddyLee]

I hate when I'm walking down an aisle and my face gets smacked by the invisible, yet gargantuan in scent, funk.

I always hold my breath when I walk past the stinky family that shops there every single day.

 

[Bustem' Down]

I keep them in except at home. Unless I have company over.

 

[Lenny]

So I was standing there browsing the DVD section at Target. I see someone walking along behind me from my right to left. The person gets about 7 or 8 feet from me, and lets one rip. Not talking about one of those "This should be a silent one, I'll let it go". Oh no, one of those long juicy ones. Normally when someone does this, they'll continue to walk away from it. Oh no, not this guy. He stops right there and begins to look at movies.

This is an ancient Persian shopping trick. Set up the situation when competing shoppers might get a shopping advantage. To mark their territory, a master shopper will poison the surrounding area to keep competitors and their horses away.

 

[EmnJoe]

I hate when I'm walking down an aisle and my face gets smacked by the invisible, yet gargantuan in scent, funk.

That would be my husband. In any store he lets out a really bad one then goes down the next aisle and listens for the "ewwws" to start. I never know about it till he starts to laugh.
It's a man thing I quess.

 

[cholo]

So I was standing there browsing the DVD section at Target. I see someone walking along behind me from my right to left. The person gets about 7 or 8 feet from me, and lets one rip. Not talking about one of those "This should be a silent one, I'll let it go". Oh no, one of those long juicy ones.

Sorry.

 

[Kain99]

The whole farts are funny thing, really should die when Men turn 19. I'm sorry you had this horrible experience ST. Really...

 

[vraiblonde]

Because of that experience, C and I established a "no farting" rule early on.

Larry and I established the "no farting" rule too. I reminded him of all the bootay he got when we were dating and explained to him that if he acted like we were STILL dating, he could empty that jellybean jar.

Simple as ABC: Always Be Courting.

 

[RoseRed]

Chicklet, now being 6 (and beforehand), is really into the burping/farting thing. If she toot's loud, she has to ask everyone... Did you hear that duck!?! :her:

Me

 

[Oz]

Chicks shouldn't fart - it's a guy thing. End of story.

 

[Tigerlily]

Women don't fart they Poot.