Watch your words, they can harm...

[Retrodeb54]

From the marriage is depressing thread...

From the marriage is depressing thread...

Constant nagging, criticism, or being belittled by your partner can make you feel discontented with the relationship, says the study.

Change partner to parents and you have a little reminder. A child can only build self-esteem in life by feeling good about themselves. Belittling them over little mistakes or areas they come up a little short in crushes the spirit. Like the dad that talks his son down because he doesn't do well at football when dad was a natural. Things like this cause children to not want to try anything, they mark themselves a failure. Then they won't even try new things. Leading to depression and feeling of worthlessness down the road.

Praise a try, lend a hand to try again if needed. If it doesn't work out, move on to something new. Show them that trying is all that matters. That it will lead to successes and failures in life, but if you don't try you'll never know.

 

[KDENISE977]

From the marriage is depressing thread...

From the marriage is depressing thread...



Change partner to parents and you have a little reminder. A child can only build self-esteem in life by feeling good about themselves. Belittling them over little mistakes or areas they come up a little short in crushes the spirit. Like the dad that talks his son down because he doesn't do well at football when dad was a natural. Things like this cause children to not want to try anything, they mark themselves a failure. Then they won't even try new things. Leading to depression and feeling of worthlessness down the road.

Praise a try, lend a hand to try again if needed. If it doesn't work out, move on to something new. Show them that trying is all that matters. That it will lead to successes and failures in life, but if you don't try you'll never know.

This is so true !! I just realized this when I was trying to get my son (almost 3) to play soccer. Most of the kids were older than him and had played in a previous season and I was so excited for him to try it.... first session, he had a hard time following (or so I thought) and he wanted to stop and run off a few times, I figured, no biggie, first time he's ever played. Second session, he had little to zero interest, he wanted to run all over the field and basically chat up the parents. Eventually I stopped trying to MAKE him pay attention or do the drills and it was making the entire experience NOT worth it if it wasn't fun for him. The soccer experience ended when he took off to the parking lot and wanted to go home. I finally realized, just because all those other kids wanted to play, didn't mean he HAD to play...tried it... didn't like it, and if I had to keep correcting him (stop picking up the ball) it wasnt' fun... and if it was going to be a NEGATIVE experience, he won't want to try anything :shrug: So, we'll try something else, but like you said, it must be a positive experience !!

 

[Larry Gude]

Change partner to parents and you have a little reminder. A child can only build self-esteem in life by feeling good about themselves. Belittling them over little mistakes or areas they come up a little short in crushes the spirit. Like the dad that talks his son down because he doesn't do well at football when dad was a natural. Things like this cause children to not want to try anything, they mark themselves a failure. Then they won't even try new things. Leading to depression and feeling of worthlessness down the road.

Praise a try, lend a hand to try again if needed. If it doesn't work out, move on to something new. Show them that trying is all that matters. That it will lead to successes and failures in life, but if you don't try you'll never know.

Trying is NOT all that matters. Success matters, too. Self esteem comes from success. Not being told you're a success. Where the hell would Luke Skywalker be, hence the Death Star, hence the entire galaxy had Yoda told him "There is only try or try not"

 

[SG_Player1974]

No one needs to be the sports parent that is caught on Youtube screaming at their child and telling them that they stink........ HOWEVER,

People need to understand and impress on their child that NOT EVERYONE GETS A TROPHY! Participation should be acknowledged.... not rewarded!

 

[Retrodeb54]

Trying is NOT all that matters. Success matters, too. Self esteem comes from success. Not being told you're a success. Where the hell would Luke Skywalker be, hence the Death Star, hence the entire galaxy had Yoda told him "There is only try or try not"

Please reread my op slowly and you will see that is NOT what I said at all. I said praise them for a good attempt as well as a success. Its trying that matters.

As for your movie comparison, come back to earth. Maybe you could try to catch up on some reality.

 

[Larry Gude]

Please reread my op slowly and you will see that is NOT what I said at all. I said praise them for a good attempt as well as a success. Its trying that matters.

As for your movie comparison, come back to earth. Maybe you could try to catch up on some reality.

I was in WalMart earlier. They're having a sale on Sense of Humor. It's a BoGo for those really in need...

 

[Retrodeb54]

I was in WalMart earlier. They're having a sale on Sense of Humor. It's a BoGo for those really in need...

Sorry, but not needed. I do have a sense of humor. Its hard to know when to turn it on in here at times.

 

[Retrodeb54]

This is so true !! I just realized this when I was trying to get my son (almost 3) to play soccer. Most of the kids were older than him and had played in a previous season and I was so excited for him to try it.... first session, he had a hard time following (or so I thought) and he wanted to stop and run off a few times, I figured, no biggie, first time he's ever played. Second session, he had little to zero interest, he wanted to run all over the field and basically chat up the parents. Eventually I stopped trying to MAKE him pay attention or do the drills and it was making the entire experience NOT worth it if it wasn't fun for him. The soccer experience ended when he took off to the parking lot and wanted to go home. I finally realized, just because all those other kids wanted to play, didn't mean he HAD to play...tried it... didn't like it, and if I had to keep correcting him (stop picking up the ball) it wasnt' fun... and if it was going to be a NEGATIVE experience, he won't want to try anything :shrug: So, we'll try something else, but like you said, it must be a positive experience !!

LIKE

 

[Larry Gude]

Sorry, but not needed. I do have a sense of humor. Its hard to know when to turn it on in here at times.

When someone quotes Yoda, that's a hint they might be kidding...

 

[PeoplesElbow]

When someone quotes Yoda, that's a hint they might be kidding...

Incorrectly at that.

 

[Hank]

When someone quotes Yoda, that's a hint they might be kidding...

 

[Retrodeb54]

When someone quotes Yoda, that's a hint they might be kidding...

Well in most situations yes, in here there is no guarantee. Admit it, things like Yoda quotes are used by some as serious comments. I took the first half as your response and the Yoda crap for Yoda crap lol . Sorry I misunderstood.

 

[Larry Gude]

Well in most situations yes, in here there is no guarantee. Admit it, things like Yoda quotes are used by some as serious comments. I took the first half as your response and the Yoda crap for Yoda crap lol . Sorry I misunderstood.

Well, I do believe it is more important to build ones self from success's rather than words. One of the things we've lost in our modern 'you must respect EVERYONE' world is that, in the old days, people used to use being called names and discouraged as motivation. There is a LOT of respect out there for a LOT of people who've earned none and, apparently, feel just fine about themselves and their self esteem being what used to be called a loser.

I think there is a balance to be had because, to be sure, in the old days, sometimes it was too much for a kid with no support to take.

 

[Retrodeb54]

Well, I do believe it is more important to build ones self from success's rather than words. One of the things we've lost in our modern 'you must respect EVERYONE' world is that, in the old days, people used to use being called names and discouraged as motivation. There is a LOT of respect out there for a LOT of people who've earned none and, apparently, feel just fine about themselves and their self esteem being what used to be called a loser.

I think there is a balance to be had because, to be sure, in the old days, sometimes it was too much for a kid with no support to take.

I was talking about parenting methods, to help a child grow up with earned self esteem. Through successes and failures with the knowledge that trying is what counts. We aren't all good at everything we attempt, doesn't make us less of a person does it? I'm not talking about a world full of crappy adults and teens that already missed the boat. I too believe respect is something to be earned and not a given. The right words and handling of situations with a child if started early on teaches that too.

 

[Larry Gude]

The right words and handling of situations with a child if started early on teaches that too.

Total agreement, there. I handle some issues poorly and it will bother me forever.

 

[acommondisaster]

This is so true !! I just realized this when I was trying to get my son (almost 3) to play soccer. Most of the kids were older than him and had played in a previous season and I was so excited for him to try it.... first session, he had a hard time following (or so I thought) and he wanted to stop and run off a few times, I figured, no biggie, first time he's ever played. Second session, he had little to zero interest, he wanted to run all over the field and basically chat up the parents. Eventually I stopped trying to MAKE him pay attention or do the drills and it was making the entire experience NOT worth it if it wasn't fun for him. The soccer experience ended when he took off to the parking lot and wanted to go home. I finally realized, just because all those other kids wanted to play, didn't mean he HAD to play...tried it... didn't like it, and if I had to keep correcting him (stop picking up the ball) it wasnt' fun... and if it was going to be a NEGATIVE experience, he won't want to try anything :shrug: So, we'll try something else, but like you said, it must be a positive experience !!

meh...."almost" 3 is too young for organized sports. he'd probably be happier kicking a big ball around in the yard, or playing with the box it came in, and that's probably healthier in terms of self esteem than putting them on a team with kids who are older have better motor skills. I'm so glad you recognized he wasn't happy playing. Sometimes, our kids are smarter than us.