As Alison Stevenson noted in her 2016 article for VICE, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love ****boys, “****boy” is a term largely appropriated from Black culture. The meaning of the term has gone from referring to “the perfect combination of a ‘basic bitch’ and a ‘slut,’ two insults that are rarely levied against men” to “every (typically straight) man who is in someway problematic,” as Helen Meriel Thomas pointed out in her 2020 VICE piece In the A to Z of ****boys.
At this point, it’s also important to note that anyone can indulge in “****boy” behaviour – ****girls, ****persons, or ****-gender-non-conforming persons. They’re also capable of being hurtfully dismissive toward a sexual partner. But the thing about power and how our society is constructed is that in the bigger picture, it is often enacted in one direction, and one group of people are overwhelmingly recipients of it. Longstanding gender inequalities and the way we’re conditioned to socialise often make it easier for men to get away with shitty behaviour than women. This also explains why men with active sex lives tend to be congratulated more than degraded, unlike women.
Aakriti is about to initiate a divorce from her husband of four years, who she dated for six before they got married. According to her, he was a bonafide ****boy — emotionally unavailable, self-absorbed, distant, and someone who enjoyed basking in the attention of women.
At this point, it’s also important to note that anyone can indulge in “****boy” behaviour – ****girls, ****persons, or ****-gender-non-conforming persons. They’re also capable of being hurtfully dismissive toward a sexual partner. But the thing about power and how our society is constructed is that in the bigger picture, it is often enacted in one direction, and one group of people are overwhelmingly recipients of it. Longstanding gender inequalities and the way we’re conditioned to socialise often make it easier for men to get away with shitty behaviour than women. This also explains why men with active sex lives tend to be congratulated more than degraded, unlike women.
Aakriti is about to initiate a divorce from her husband of four years, who she dated for six before they got married. According to her, he was a bonafide ****boy — emotionally unavailable, self-absorbed, distant, and someone who enjoyed basking in the attention of women.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/z34key/****boys-love-sex-dating-relationships-attachment-style
