Pookie
Ghetto Fabulous
I'm sure this has been posted before, but it's still funny!
MARTHA STEWART
If you accidentally over-salt a
dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
peeled potato and it'll absorb
the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
REAL WOMEN
If you over-salt a dish while
you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
Please recite with me, The Real
Women's motto: "I made it and
you will eat it and don't care
how bad it tastes."
MARTHA STEWART
Cure for headaches: Take a lime,
cut it in half and rub it on your
fore head. The throbbing will go
away.
REAL WOMEN
Take a lime, mix it with
tequila, chill and drink. You might still have
the headache, but who cares?
MARTHA STEWART
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in
the bottom of a sugar cone
to prevent ice cream drips.
REAL WOMEN
Just suck the ice cream out of
the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake.
You are probably lying on the
couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
MARTHA STEWART
To keep potatoes from budding,
place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.
REAL WOMEN
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato
mix and keep it in the pantry
for up to a year.
MARTHA STEWART
If a cake recipe calls for
flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake
mix instead and there won't be
any white mess on the outside of the cake.
REAL WOMEN
Go to the bakery. They'll even
decorate it for you.
MARTHA STEWART
Brush some beaten egg white over
pie crust before baking to yield
a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMEN
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie
directions do not include brushing egg whites
over the crust, so I just don't
do it.
MARTHA STEWART
If you have a problem opening
jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
They give a non slip grip that
makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMEN
Go ask the very cute neighbor to
do it.
AND FINALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT
TIP:
MARTHA STEWART
Don't throw out all that
leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for future use in casseroles and
sauces.
REAL WOMEN
What leftover wine?
MARTHA STEWART
If you accidentally over-salt a
dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
peeled potato and it'll absorb
the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
REAL WOMEN
If you over-salt a dish while
you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
Please recite with me, The Real
Women's motto: "I made it and
you will eat it and don't care
how bad it tastes."
MARTHA STEWART
Cure for headaches: Take a lime,
cut it in half and rub it on your
fore head. The throbbing will go
away.
REAL WOMEN
Take a lime, mix it with
tequila, chill and drink. You might still have
the headache, but who cares?
MARTHA STEWART
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in
the bottom of a sugar cone
to prevent ice cream drips.
REAL WOMEN
Just suck the ice cream out of
the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake.
You are probably lying on the
couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
MARTHA STEWART
To keep potatoes from budding,
place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.
REAL WOMEN
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato
mix and keep it in the pantry
for up to a year.
MARTHA STEWART
If a cake recipe calls for
flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake
mix instead and there won't be
any white mess on the outside of the cake.
REAL WOMEN
Go to the bakery. They'll even
decorate it for you.
MARTHA STEWART
Brush some beaten egg white over
pie crust before baking to yield
a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMEN
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie
directions do not include brushing egg whites
over the crust, so I just don't
do it.
MARTHA STEWART
If you have a problem opening
jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
They give a non slip grip that
makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMEN
Go ask the very cute neighbor to
do it.
AND FINALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT
TIP:
MARTHA STEWART
Don't throw out all that
leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for future use in casseroles and
sauces.
REAL WOMEN
What leftover wine?