What would you think?

[bresamil]

My daughter's birthday party is coming up and the invitations went out Saturday to all the girls in her class. Today invitations went out from another girl in the class for a party at the same day and time. Plus the other girl's mother invited the whole class.
This other little girl and her mother received my daughter's invitation on Monday - 4 days before handing out hers.
Am I dealing with a "popularity contest" mother?

 

[Pandora]

My daughter's birthday party is coming up and the invitations went out Saturday to all the girls in her class. Today invitations went out from another girl in the class for a party at the same day and time. Plus the other girl's mother invited the whole class.
This other little girl and her mother received my daughter's invitation on Monday - 4 days before handing out hers.
Am I dealing with a "popularity contest" mother?

See, if I was the other parent, I would call you and say it looks like we both planned a party on the same day and see if one would be willing to change it.

 

[RoseRed]

Sounds like it to me. Pretty heartless on her part.

 

[bresamil]

See, if I was the other parent, I would call you and say it looks like we both planned a party on the same day and see if one would be willing to change it.

Exactly.

This happened last year with a new little boy and the mom called and apologized all over the place, but it ended up okay because he was only inviting boys and could only have 7 of them. She had invited everyone and the invites went out on the same day. His 7 went to his party and the rest to hers.

This is a new parent - but she got our invite before sending out hers and she hasn't contacted me at all.

 

[RoseRed]

This is a new parent - but she got our invite before sending out hers and she hasn't contacted me at all.

She was wrong and not teaching her daughter anything good from this.

 

[crabcake]

Maybe she'd picked the day, reserved someplace and notified family, but hadn't gotten to the invitations yet for the classmates. I'm probably in the minority here, but I don't see it being all about "one-upmanship". It's a coincidence ... 300+ kids in a school ... odds are, two kids might have a birthday party on the same weekend at some point. Crap happens. :shrug:

Now, if the other birthday girl comes in and says "I'm taking all your friends away and having them at my party and you're not going to have anyone at yours", that's a different story. Then I'd be on the horn with the mom.

 

[vraiblonde]

Am I dealing with a "popularity contest" mother?

Yes. My first instinct would be to up the ante and teach this Mom a lesson. Hire a clown or ponies or take them all to King's Dominion - something REALLY awesome so the kids will come to your daughter's party, and leave the other girl with just the boys.

But what I'd REALLY do is call the other mother and tell her there's a conflict, then see if you could do a joint birthday party for the two girls. A girl I was in elementary school with had my birthday, and that's what our Moms did - had joint parties.

 

[Pandora]

Yes. My first instinct would be to up the ante and teach this Mom a lesson. Hire a clown or ponies or take them all to King's Dominion - something REALLY awesome so the kids will come to your daughter's party, and leave the other girl with just the boys.

But what I'd REALLY do is call the other mother and tell her there's a conflict, then see if you could do a joint birthday party for the two girls. A girl I was in elementary school with had my birthday, and that's what our Moms did - had joint parties.

I thought about the "joint" party thing too, but who has time to plan out all that revenge.

I think I'd just concede and change my child's party, because I'm wimpy and LAZY like that.

 

[crabcake]

Maybe I'm delving into a different level of this, but why try to force the kids on each other? :shrug: As adults, we gravitate toward some people more than others; kids aren't much different.

In this case, I'd hope the kids who'd committed to Bre's kid's party would honor that commitment to go, but for the rest who hadn't RSVP'd yet, let them decide who's party they want to go to.

If the girls aren't close friends, why force them to share the spotlight? If they wanted to do that, they'd have probably tossed that idea out to eachother and their parents.

 

[marianne]

Was the invitation for the other girl at a reserved location? It might be the other mom had previously reserved a venue that was not changeable. I've done this where I reserve a place months in advance but neglect to actually send out invitations until just a few days before the planned party.

 

[crabcake]

Bre -- if you insist that your gut feeling is that it was done out of spite, then return the favor. Call the other mom, and say, "Sorry if kids don't come to your party b/c I was more thoughtful in sending my invitations out with some advance notice."

 

[vraiblonde]

Maybe I'm delving into a different level of this, but why try to force the kids on each other?

I assumed the two girls were invited to each other's parties. Bres' daughter invited all the girls in her class, and the other kid invited the whole class.

This was just pure insensitivity and competitiveness on the other mother's part. The correct thing to do would have been for the other mother to call Bres when her daughter brought home the invitation and try to square it away.

 

[crabcake]

I assumed the two girls were invited to each other's parties. Bres' daughter invited all the girls in her class, and the other kid invited the whole class.

This was just pure insensitivity and competitiveness on the other mother's part. The correct thing to do would have been for the other mother to call Bres when her daughter brought home the invitation and try to square it away.

Who's to say the other girl didn't withhold the invite from her mom, and other mom is oblivious to the whole situation? :shrug: She might be one of those "mean girls" type. What age girls are we talking about here?

 

[vraiblonde]

Who's to say the other girl didn't withhold the invite from her mom, and other mom is oblivious to the whole situation?

Good point

Bres, call the other Mom.

 

[bresamil]

Well - they are a new family and her mom is very anxious that the child have friends.

One child told my daughter that she thought it was deliberate.

I had to pay for my daughter's party in advance, reserve the venue, etc. It's an indoor rollerskating party.

I believe the other child's party may have required reservations as well - it is at an outdoor park.

We have shared parties with others in the past, since both children wanted to invite the whole class. My oldest and a female friend were a week apart and in the same class. My second and his classmate are one day apart. I'm not adverse to that but it's too late now. Both parties are next Saturday.

I guess when I call with regrets, I'll just explain since we planned ours so far in advance and invitations have been out that we won't be able to attend or change, but she's welcome to join ours.

 

[bresamil]

My son is hovering to get on here and play warcraft. Thanks for the advice. I'll check in later.

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Am I dealing with a "popularity contest" mother?

Do I need to walk down there & take the biatch out?

 

[bresamil]

Do I need to walk down there & take the biatch out?

I bet you know her ex.

 

[Mikeinsmd]

I bet you know her ex.

Hit me on the PM'er woman!!

 

[Dupontster]

Yes. My first instinct would be to up the ante and teach this Mom a lesson. Hire a clown or ponies or take them all to King's Dominion - something REALLY awesome so the kids will come to your daughter's party, and leave the other girl with just the boys.

But what I'd REALLY do is call the other mother and tell her there's a conflict, then see if you could do a joint birthday party for the two girls. A girl I was in elementary school with had my birthday, and that's what our Moms did - had joint parties.

Vrai, I think you should be ashamed of yourself for even suggesting such a thing. This is a party for little girls...We are trying to teach our children not to do drugs and look what you suggest.. ...Oh, wait a minute. Maybe you were talking about something else...nebermind....Proceed with thread..