"What's your parenting secret?"

[kwillia]

Most, if not all, parents have secrets they wouldn’t tell their closest friend or partner.

But plenty are sharing them, anonymously, in a very public and very popular forum.

Secrets like:

“I joined a gym just for the free daycare. I drop the kids off and read magazines and blogs in the locker room.”

“Childbirth is the single most disgusting experience I’ve ever had in my life.”

“I clock out of motherhood at 8 PM, and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.”

Sound familiar?

What’s your parenting secret? Scary Mommy may have heard it - On Parenting - The Washington Post

Reading other parents’ secrets has a special allure. Most of them can make a parent feel superior (i.e. “I would never do that, encourage that or use breast-milk for that”) ... until one (or two or eight) hit home.

“As mothers, we place enormous pressure on ourselves to come across as loving and maternal and competent, but we can’t always be that way. We have to cut ourselves some slack and recognize that just because we want to hide in the bathroom and scream once in a while, we aren’t bad mothers. We’re human. "


Hide in the bathroom to scream? Heck! Why waste a good scream!

 

[b23hqb]

Our secret is: The Seven Step Plan

1. I/we are the parent(s). Just do it. Because I(we) said so.

2. Parent as much and as often as possible, regardless what the kid(s)want(s).

3. I/we are not your best friend. That can come later after you are an adult. We are responsible for you and your actions until you legally become an adult.

4. Just do it. Because.

5. Love can hurt at times.

6. No, we are not there yet. Just do it. Because. End of story.

7. Repeat steps one through six as many times as necessary.

 

[vraiblonde]

My parenting secret was to not feel bad about lying to your children.

"There's a monster in the basement. His name is George - George the Jelly Monster - and you're going to wake him up with all that yelling."

"No, we don't have any more cookies. You must have eaten them."

"If you behave in the store, I'll get you a puppy."

 

[lovinmaryland]

I actually said "sorry Mom clocked off at 8pm figure it out for yourself" last night

Unfortunately the little one got me back around midnight

 

[KDENISE977]

The Scary Mommy confessionals on the website are HYSTARICAL !!

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I love this comment!

Yes, I very clearly remember judging other parents at the store, whose children were having meltdowns (I will NEVER let my child act like that) - and then I had a child who proceeded to melt down almost every time we went out. The looks from others were priceless. Karma is a b!tch.



I had a friend that always judged. If your kid cried, if the laudry wasn't done, if the dishes weren't done............. Until she had a kid Then denied she ever did that. Are you kidding me?

 

[libertytyranny]

My parenting secret was to not feel bad about lying to your children.

"There's a monster in the basement. His name is George - George the Jelly Monster - and you're going to wake him up with all that yelling."

"No, we don't have any more cookies. You must have eaten them."

"If you behave in the store, I'll get you a puppy."

mom?

mom used to tell me there was a lion in the other room to keep me from wondering in there to mess with things. and that there was a jack in the box (which are frightfully, horrifically scary) in the registers to get me to stop throwing things down them. I turned out fine.

then there was the time I insisted I watch the tommyknockers with her and my mom hid under my bed with a doll and made it jump out at me..that wasn't for any other reason than her own enjoyment, though.

 

[Dakota]

I use to tell my kids that they couldn't talk to me until I finished my coffee in the morning.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I'm a bad mom

I have to tell my kid things are illegal to get her to do them/not do them. To get her to wear clothes, I started telling her at 4 1/2 that it is illegal for a 5 year old to be naked all the time. Last night it was a little warm upstairs, so she asked if she could just sleep in her panties. I said yes. Then she wanted to know if the cops were going to arrest her since it's illegal. I can't win. She's too smart.

 

[Toxick]

Hide in the bathroom to scream? Heck! Why waste a good scream!

Storage units are awesome to use to store children. Rent a unit, insulate it (maybe leave a transistor radio in there for entertainment), leave them some food and water in there, and they can manage themselves all day. It's cheaper than daycare, and totally safe.

Just don't leave them a cell phone. They'll drive you nuts all day long with the "We're bored! We ran out of water! We're hungry! Johnny won't stop touching my face! Blah-blah-blah"

 

[kwillia]

Storage units are awesome to use to store children. Rent a unit, insulate it (maybe leave a transistor radio in there for entertainment), leave them some food and water in there, and they can manage themselves all day. It's cheaper than daycare, and totally safe.

Just don't leave them a cell phone. They'll drive you nuts all day long with the "We're bored! We ran out of water! We're hungry! Johnny won't stop touching my face! Blah-blah-blah"

Dis you?

http://forums.somd.com/news-current-events/37009-waldorf-mom-locked-kids-storage-unit.html

 

[Toxick]

Dis you?

http://forums.somd.com/news-current-events/37009-waldorf-mom-locked-kids-storage-unit.html

:lookingdownpants:


Newp. Don't qualify as a mom. :/






But I knew I couldn't be the only genius who thought of that.