When do you think

[workin hard]

your ready to become parents for the first time? My fiancee and I were talking about it last night. And we decided that we want to buy a house first and I want to get further along in school but how do you know your really ready??



FYI: For all the people that know me on here I'm not pregnant and don't look for it to happen for at least a year or so.

 

[Oz]

Personally, I think you should be married for a while to make sure that you and your (future) husband can provide a good environment for the kids to grow up in. That means emotionally - you guys need a good, positive relationship with a few years of solid marriage history. Financially - so your education goal should come first. Environment - once you have your education, & career, buy an affordable house in the best neighborhood you can find.

Of course, your mileage may vary. But this would be my idea of when a couple is "ready."

 

[Shutterbug]

I agree with Oz. My husband and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. We decided when we got married that we wanted to wait until our jobs were stable, we had paid down our debts, and we had spent some quality "us" time together before bringing kids into our relationship. That said, I don't think you are ever "ready" for children. (of course, I don't have any...so my opinion my be wrong....)

 

[vraiblonde]

I've only seen one person in my whole life who had kids when they were "ready" and that's Larry's little sister (32 when her cherub was born). Everyone else, doesn't matter what the age or financial situation, they were unprepared for just how demanding raising children is.

It's a mindset more than anything - you're ready to give up your whole entire life and focus on the well-being of this child. Put the kid before your job, your friends, your entertainment AND each other.

 

[citysherry]

your ready to become parents for the first time? My fiancee and I were talking about it last night. And we decided that we want to buy a house first and I want to get further along in school but how do you know your really ready??

Don't start a family if you can't be concerned more with the needs and wishes of your children than your own.

 

[sleuth]

your ready to become parents for the first time? My fiancee and I were talking about it last night. And we decided that we want to buy a house first and I want to get further along in school but how do you know your really ready??



FYI: For all the people that know me on here I'm not pregnant and don't look for it to happen for at least a year or so.

I think you have to factor in age, too.

My gf and I have went 'round and 'round with this. She wants to have more kids soon after we get married, I want to wait a year so that we can adjust to being married before adding an infant into the mix.

But we also have to consider that we want two more kids, and she's 27. By the time I find a job in the midwest, move, and get married, she'll probably be 28 or 29. Her daughter also wants a sibling. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to be a stay-at-home mom forever, and I know that she has some aspirations of running her own business. Obviously, the longer we wait to have kids, the longer she might have to put that off. And also, the longer we wait, the older she's going to be and the bigger strain it's going to put on her physically.

I don't think we're going to wait 4 or 5 years to have kids, but I do think we're going to wait a little while until we've adjusted to being married. I want her to have an opportunity to run a small business, even if it's a home-based one (daycare maybe?), within 2-3 years of being married, which means our children will still be in preschool.

We haven't figured it out yet. :shrug: She's trying to launch a career in business and we want to have children at the same time. I don't know how you do that.

 

[Pete]

It seems that a significant chunk of the population thinks that just prior to or within 6 months of High School graduation is the best time.

 

[fddog]

It seems that a significant chunk of the population thinks that just prior to or within 6 months of High School graduation is the best time.

 

[workin hard]

It seems that a significant chunk of the population thinks that just prior to or within 6 months of High School graduation is the best time.

I've seen that growing trend and thank my lucky stars I wasn't a part of it.

 

[josmom]

I've seen that growing trend and thank my lucky stars I wasn't a part of it.

Well, I will say from experience that being one of those people is not the worse thing in the world that you could do. I was one of those people, and we have done amazingly well. My husband and I had been together since we started school, were married right after our daughter was born. We have never regretted our decision. She is wonderful, and by the time that she is on her own, We will only be in our late 30's, with plenty of time to live our lives. I would say that you have to work harder to get to a comfortable place when you have a kid young. But we live a great life, and love that she is old enough now to enjoy things too.

 

[workin hard]

Well, I will say from experience that being one of those people is not the worse thing in the world that you could do. I was one of those people, and we have done amazingly well. My husband and I had been together since we started school, were married right after our daughter was born. We have never regretted our decision. She is wonderful, and by the time that she is on her own, We will only be in our late 30's, with plenty of time to live our lives. I would say that you have to work harder to get to a comfortable place when you have a kid young. But we live a great life, and love that she is old enough now to enjoy things too.

I'm 22 now, 23 next month, and I do want to still have them when I'm young so I can be fairly young when they grow up too ya know. But I still want to finish and get my bachelors, or at least further along with it.

 

[fddog]

I'm 22 now, 23 next month, and I do want to still have them when I'm young so I can be fairly young when they grow up too ya know. But I still want to finish and get my bachelors, or at least further along with it.

i applaud you, on wanting to finish school, that is probaly the best thing you can do for you and your future family.

 

[sockgirl77]

It seems that a significant chunk of the population thinks that just prior to or within 6 months of High School graduation is the best time.

 

[dreamland]

Thats not funny, it's sad....dumbass

 

[sockgirl77]

Thats not funny, it's sad....dumbass

maybe sad, but it's funny that he pointed it out. i was a junior in highschool when they added daycares to the school. i watch all of my friends struggle in school because they had kids but there was a way to prevent all of that and none of them chose to.

 

[josmom]

Well I applaud you for wanting to finish school workin hard. But I just hate when people act as though, it is the saddest thing that could happen to someone. I turned 24 this month. I finished my associates and will be enrolling for my BA at UMBC, and my daughter is 4 and I have a great job. So it is what you make of the situation.

 

[workin hard]

Well I applaud you for wanting to finish school workin hard. But I just hate when people act as though, it is the saddest thing that could happen to someone. I turned 24 this month. I finished my associates and will be enrolling for my BA at UMBC, and my daughter is 4 and I have a great job. So it is what you make of the situation.

Very true...And I'm glad that you have done well for yourself. Some people don't and so often they are the norm of an example when it comes to young pregnancy. I finished my assoc is the spring and am taking 1 class for my BA at Univ of Balt and I'm finding that the 1 class I'm taking is as much work as 2 classes via CSM

 

[josmom]

Thanks, And I am sure that you are right, But it does mean more when you work hard for things, then when you are handed them, so I am sure that you will feel even more fulfilled with that BA than with at Assoc. ( Not that you should not feel fulfilled, Please dont take me wrong)!

 

[girliegirl]

I don't think there is a time when you know you are ready. As long as you and your soon to be husband agree on having children, it will happen when it should.

 

[Dymphna]

No one can tell you what the best time is for your circumstances. When we got married, I was working on my master's degree, so we decided that nothing was going to happen until then. But we decided that since he had job security, it didn't matter that I hadn't found my "dream job," because the reality was, a kid was going to interfere with my career anyway to some degree. Some people would've waited. :shrug: