tater
New Member
DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good
leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU
IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't
all over everything while you're gone. (Have you
noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat
butt?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check
stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my
nose...stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet.
Why'd you buy carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your
guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that
handshake thing yet...idiot.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we
both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you
know why we chew your crap up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do
you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go
back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled
a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food
chain.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing
with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the
visible fence problem!!
1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good
leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU
IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't
all over everything while you're gone. (Have you
noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat
butt?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check
stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my
nose...stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet.
Why'd you buy carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your
guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that
handshake thing yet...idiot.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we
both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you
know why we chew your crap up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do
you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go
back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled
a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food
chain.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing
with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the
visible fence problem!!
