Why Men and Women Can Never Be ‘Just Friends’

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
Why Men and Women Can Never Be ‘Just Friends’
To destroy the Friend Zone, women must accept the following truths: you don’t have any guy friends and, in fact, you can’t have any guy friends.



If, then, the average male coworker, male neighbor, or male Nepalese yak herder is better at producing masculine companionship, why is an average man giving his business to you? It’s not because he wants your friendship. It’s because he wants to convince you to open up the supply chain of a romantic relationship to him, and he foolishly believes he can do so by being a loyal friendship customer. “Pay my dues in the Friend Zone,” he thinks, “and one day she’ll promote me to boyfriend.”

Just because men don’t want to be your friend, however, doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy your company. They most certainly do. They love discovering how you see the world, what you think about life, the universe, and everything. They love your kindness, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, support, and your nurturing heart. They love being in your presence when you display the wonders of the feminine virtues.

But because God designed these virtues to entice men into marriage, the average man will never be content to receive those gifts in a form of companionship that doesn’t lead to marriage. Quite simply, men can’t be at peace being just friends. And there’s nothing you can do to change that. Platonic chilling won’t stop your inner (and outer) beauty from pulling a man towards romantic love. Telling him he’s like a brother to you won’t stop his brain from shouting “Marry that woman and impregnate her now” when he encounters your femininity.

Repeat the “We’re just friends” mantra a thousand times. It won’t rewire the circuits of the male mind. All it will accomplish is deluding you into thinking he’s content to stay in the Friend Zone quicksand and deluding him into thinking he can break out of it by sinking even deeper.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
That's crap. My best friend of many years is a guy. He doesn't look to me for masculine companionship - he has other guys for that - and he certainly doesn't seek me out for my "kindness, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, support, and nurturing heart".

:roflmao:

(I hope he sees that - he will die :lmao:)

We seek each other out because we are each other's friend who will tell it straight, no sugar. We all tiptoe a bit in our romantic relationships because we don't want to provoke or offend our SO, and that is as it should be. With a male/female close friendship there are no such boundaries, and that is refreshing. He doesn't act right in front of me because he wants sex; he lets it all hang out with me so he can act right in front of his woman so *she* will give him sex. It's the same with Monello - I would never talk in front of him like I talk to my bestie. It's very similar to a brother/sister bond (not that I have any brothers, but I see my son and daughter in action).

I think everyone should have a close friend of the opposite sex. They bring a perspective to the table that your same-sex friends don't.
 

black dog

Free America
PREMO Member
My neighbor across the street and I are good friends, we do social things together like festivals and art & craft shows. I've seen her boobs but I have no desire to play with them, and she has no desire to see my twig and berry's.
She's a friend with no benefits.
 

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
That's crap. My best friend of many years is a guy. He doesn't look to me for masculine companionship - he has other guys for that - and he certainly doesn't seek me out for my "kindness, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, support, and nurturing heart".

:roflmao:

in this piece [where I found the OP] the author does allude, there are exceptions to the Rule ......


How the Friend Zone is destroying America

My two longest surviving friendships, each going back at least a quarter of a century, are with women. Of course, one of them is a lesbian, which makes me question whether such a friendship really applies to this question. The other is a woman who has only known me from the time when my now wife and I were already seriously dating and on a clear path toward getting engaged. She remains a dear love of both my wife and myself to this day. My friend was also in a relationship of her own when we met. So in both of these circumstances, there was really never any thought of an option to become something more and eventually produce children.

But that’s the exception to the rule for most of us. I have known girls I wanted to date and who were clearly available to do so if they wished but had no interest in me in that way. Hans defines these friends as, “someone you deliberately choose to spend one-on-one time with.” And in that case he’s right. Here’s his take on that phenomenon, in which he humorously but still accurately describes “friendship” in terms of the free market economy.
 

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
I thought the premise in "When Harry Met Sally" had a very specific proviso - they can't be just friends if the guy is strongly attracted to the girl (he doesn't cover the other way around).
That's a condition I've found to be totally true, although now that I've been married for a long time, I really don't have much opportunity to do things just with a female friend, and - they're all married now, too.
If I'm not the slightest bit interested, it's pretty easy to be close friends, and that happened a bit in my single days, although at least ONCE it wasn't true for my female friend - she WAS interested, and I had no idea.
 

Merlin99

Visualize whirled peas
PREMO Member
:yay:

I'm guessing he's pining for a woman who gave him the brush, so now he's all bitter.
So it's not " men and women can't be 'just friends'", it's "the author and women can't be 'just friends'". Sounds like a personal problem, or more likely a personality problem.
 

RoseRed

American Beauty
PREMO Member
Might be time to dust this tread off...

Yes, a woman can have male friends and vice versa...
 
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