Why men now have affairs for love while WOMEN do it for sex.

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
Fast forward to 2020 and the opposite is happening.

Women are having affairs for sex, men for love.

Men have affairs for love

Dr Tammy Nelson, author of 'When You're the One Who Cheats', thinks men are more likely now to cheat for companionship and intimacy than sex.
If it's just sex that's lacking, these days men turn to porn. God knows, there's a plethora of it out there, to appeal to all tastes, and sneaking off to the loo with your phone takes a lot less effort than planning and carrying out an affair.

Today's affairs for men happen when love and affection are lacking.

Wives aren't at home baking cookies anymore, waiting for their man to come home. We're busy, pursuing our own careers, sometimes out earning our husbands, less inclined to be 24/7 emotionally available.

'I am the least important person in my wife's life. My mistress makes me feel like I am the only person in the world who matters,' one man, who's been having an affair for two years, told me.

'The sex is good but that's not the motivation. It's the attention.'

Mistresses idolise – they see the reflection in the pond. A wife sees the true him – under a microscope.


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8545377/Tracey-Cox-reveals-men-affairs-love-WOMEN-sex.html
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
'I am the least important person in my wife's life. My mistress makes me feel like I am the only person in the world who matters,' one man, who's been having an affair for two years, told me.

'The sex is good but that's not the motivation. It's the attention.'

Mistresses idolise – they see the reflection in the pond. A wife sees the true him – under a microscope.
Adolescents in a man's body. :yay:

I'm not saying that there aren't women out there who behave like boorish shrews. There are. However, there are myriads of ways that people show their true affections for their spouses/partners. For men to say they're not being idolized makes them sound like teenagers who are not getting their needs met by mommy. :rolleyes:
 

BernieP

Resident PIA
Adolescents in a man's body. :yay:

I'm not saying that there aren't women out there who behave like boorish shrews. There are. However, there are myriads of ways that people show their true affections for their spouses/partners. For men to say they're not being idolized makes them sound like teenagers who are not getting their needs met by mommy. :rolleyes:
Not to be disagreeable but I am :)
Trying to pigeon hole things like this just doesn't work.
I was watching a video last night on some twit on the BBC interviewing a sociologist / psychologist on the "gender wage gap".
He's trying to state facts and she wants to over simplify it to black and white, it exists because of gender prejudice.
He's trying to tell her that there are myriad of factors, assertiveness, etc. But she just comes back to gender.

Similarly, I would say affairs start for one thing, mutual attraction. That can be both sexual and emotional. I don't know if I would say "love', but definitely something they aren't getting from their spouse. A one night stand could be written off to pure sexual attraction.
Anything longer is emotional.
 

PrchJrkr

Long Haired Country Boy
PREMO Member
Ad Free Experience
Patron
...
Today's affairs for men happen when love and affection are lacking.
...
'I am the least important person in my wife's life. My mistress makes me feel like I am the only person in the world who matters,' one man, who's been having an affair for two years, told me.
...
'The sex is good but that's not the motivation. It's the attention.'
...
And sometimes couples can care for each other, but not be "in love" with each other nor share intimacy. A chronic debilitating disease of one or the other spouse can cause strain on a marriage that can't be remedied by counselling alone. Some take an out and cheat to get what they're missing, and others forgo/postpone happiness to make sure the children grow up in a stable environment and flurrish. Basically, it all comes down to gratification versus responsibility.
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
Not to be disagreeable but I am :)
Trying to pigeon hole things like this just doesn't work.
I was watching a video last night on some twit on the BBC interviewing a sociologist / psychologist on the "gender wage gap".
He's trying to state facts and she wants to over simplify it to black and white, it exists because of gender prejudice.
He's trying to tell her that there are myriad of factors, assertiveness, etc. But she just comes back to gender.

Similarly, I would say affairs start for one thing, mutual attraction. That can be both sexual and emotional. I don't know if I would say "love', but definitely something they aren't getting from their spouse. A one night stand could be written off to pure sexual attraction.
Anything longer is emotional.
Of course, you can't pigeon hole any explanation in my opinion.

Just giving one example of what it sounds like when a guy whines that he goes off to have an affair because he isn't getting what he needs. Whatever that need is.

In the case of the author's take - it was because the mistress idolized him and the wife did not. (In his eyes.) MY opinion of that scenario is that the man is really an adolescent in a man's body beause it's a childish way to believe. :sshrug:
 

BernieP

Resident PIA
Of course, you can't pigeon hole any explanation in my opinion.

Just giving one example of what it sounds like when a guy whines that he goes off to have an affair because he isn't getting what he needs. Whatever that need is.

In the case of the author's take - it was because the mistress idolized him and the wife did not. (In his eyes.) MY opinion of that scenario is that the man is really an adolescent in a man's body beause it's a childish way to believe. :sshrug:
I would not classify "idolize" as a need. Respect, dignity, maybe some compassion. Non-hostile.
I have low expectations.
 
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