Why Millennials Can’t Get Over Being Ghosted After Sex


PREMO Member
Writing in the New York Times, Courtney Sender describes wrestling with feelings of abandonment after such an encounter when her partner ghosted her and vanished without explanation. In her raw, human account, Sender struggles to find an answer to a riddle many in my generation face: If I consented to casual sex, why do I feel abandoned when my partner leaves?

The problems with casual sex aren’t new, and they aren’t unique to my much-maligned generation. But where there used to be a shared cultural understanding of romance and heartache, the march of progressive sexual ethics has been so complete that we no longer have the vocabulary to explain what we’re feeling.

When I left the heartland to join a private medical practice outside Washington DC, I began to see just how thorough this transformation has become. In many ways, DC represents the best and worst of my generation. Idealistic, ambitious young men and women from around the country come to work in politics, government, or the ever-nebulous “consulting” industry. They hope to make their mark before they settle down somewhere more humane for the rest of their lives. While they’re here, they do what human beings have always done: reach out to others for intimacy.


because no matter how impersonal you try to make it, sex is personal


Board Mommy
Staff member
PREMO Member
Here's how a male friend of mine put it:

Me: So how come it didn't work out?
Him: It worked out just fine. She came to me offering sex, and I said yes. Had she come to me offering love, I'd have said no thank you. I can't help that she wasn't honest in her intentions or expectations.

So there it is: if you offer sex, you will get sex. The reason you feel abandoned afterward is because you weren't honest in your intention and thought that by offering sex you would get love in return.


PREMO Member
...... and thought that by offering sex you would get love in return.

#### been that way since I was dating ....

Guys 'give' love to get sex - oh baby of course I love you
Girls 'give' sex to get love - well if I give him sex, eh will love me

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