Why Women Should Pursue Marriage Just As Intentionally As A Career

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
Modern women live with the remnants of a radical worldview that first reared its head in the 1960s — free love! sexual equality! financial independence! — and over the years spawned a tectonic shift in cultural values and mores. But most people find that a life lived unattached is no life at all.

Indeed, my inbox is loaded with messages from women who believed four lies the culture tells: that marriage plus motherhood equals jail, that women should “never depend on a man,” that sex is just sex, and that career success will (and should) define you.

Many of these same women are now picking up the pieces of a life gone awry. They either can’t find a marriageable man, or they do find a husband but are exhausted and resentful due to the relentless demands of motherhood and breadwinning.

It doesn’t have to be this way.



 
I could have written this article as this is what screams in my head when I feel the urge to mentor young women on the impact of choices made when youth seems like it will last much longer than in does in reality. Yes, I completely believe individuals get to chose their paths in life, but I also believe not enough women admit choices they made resulted in a different end game than they expected thus not enough wisdom is passed to the next generation.
 

phreddyp

Well-Known Member
PREMO Member
Modern women live with the remnants of a radical worldview that first reared its head in the 1960s — free love! sexual equality! financial independence! — and over the years spawned a tectonic shift in cultural values and mores. But most people find that a life lived unattached is no life at all.

Indeed, my inbox is loaded with messages from women who believed four lies the culture tells: that marriage plus motherhood equals jail, that women should “never depend on a man,” that sex is just sex, and that career success will (and should) define you.

Many of these same women are now picking up the pieces of a life gone awry. They either can’t find a marriageable man, or they do find a husband but are exhausted and resentful due to the relentless demands of motherhood and breadwinning.

It doesn’t have to be this way.



Sure put the blame on society, when the blame lies directly on the women themselves . No one forced them to choose what they chose they chose what they wanted at the time and reacted to it . I don't feel the least bit sorry for them just as I don't feel sorry for someone who chose a life of crime and then got caught and got prison time for it.
 

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
No one forced them to choose what they chose they chose what they wanted at the time and reacted to it .


Hmm Forced is such a harsh term ... brain washed, indoctrinated , peer or social pressure

Tinder - Hookups - Friends With Benefits ...

Wondering why they shag a guy and he never calls back ... but he said he wanted to be ' friends '


Women have the agency and control ... put up with poor behavior, don't be surprised when you get used
 

Yooper

Up. Identified. Lase. Fire. On the way.
PREMO Member
In all seriousness, allow me to add "The Rules" and "The Rules II"* from back in the late 1990s (both still available on Amazon) to the conversation.

Also, allow me to suggest Suzanne Venker, a former self-described alpha female. Her stuff is quite good.

* Ironically (?), at least one of the two co-authors got divorced. I guess they weren't as good as keeping the marriage going as getting into one. Having said that, the books actually are very good. For those who consider themselves feminists, try to put your affrontery aside and consider the logic behind and contained in the books. Timeless, actually. For both women and men.

--- End of line (MCP)
 

BOP

Well-Known Member
PREMO Member
This is a fascinating article, which is not something I ever thought I'd say about a wikipedia article. The fascinating aspect is the subject.

Erin Patria Margaret Pizzey (/ˈpɪtsi/;[2] born 19 February 1939) is an English ex-feminist and men's rights advocate, domestic abuse advocate, and novelist.
She is known for having started the first and currently the largest domestic violence shelter in the modern world, Refuge, then known as Chiswick Women's Aid, in 1971

Pizzey has been the subject of death threats and boycotts because her experience and research into the issue led her to conclude that most domestic violence is reciprocal, and that women are equally as capable of violence as men are. Pizzey has said that the threats were from militant feminists. She has also said that she is banned from the refuge she started.


 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
In all seriousness, allow me to add "The Rules" and "The Rules II"* from back in the late 1990s (both still available on Amazon) to the conversation.
I was never a fan. My dream guy isn't someone who plays silly games and I have to pretend to be something I'm not in order to interest him. If I didn't call or text back it's not because I was playing hard to get - it's because I wasn't interested. And if the guy only likes me when I don't like him.....boy, is that a problem.

Don't talk.
Pretend you're not interested.
Let him make all the decisions.
No matter how big a putz he is, you have to be easy going and genial.

Ugh. Exhausting.

I mean, I guess it depends on what kind of man you want. There are tons of girls out there who only like men they have to constantly put on the dog for to keep him from running off with some cocktail waitress. I was just never one of them.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Let's talk about Miranda.

She's a big city career woman, cynical about relationships because of the quality of the men in her environment. BUT! Because she earns her own money and charted her own success, she is in the happy position of being able to hook up with Steve and have a family - something she'd never be able to do if she had to rely on him to pay the bills.

Contrast her with Carrie, who put up with an infinite amount of Big's chit.

Because let's get real here: Big is not the catch on that show, Steve is. And career girl Miranda snagged him easily, while doting Rule player Carrie had to do all sorts of degrading things so Big would finally buy her an engagement ring.

So pursue marriage if that's what's important to you, but if you have to rely on a husband for everything - including keeping a roof over your head - you're just asking for it. My advice to young women is always "make your own money". That way you can pick and choose a mate that's right for you rather than having to humiliate yourself and put up with endless nonsense in order to appease the bill payer.
 

Yooper

Up. Identified. Lase. Fire. On the way.
PREMO Member
:confused;

:scratchinghead:
A response regarding "The Rules."

I was never a fan.

...

Ugh. Exhausting.
I get it. And to a very large extent, I agree.

My point about "The Rules" (which I should have been clearer about) is that there is a logic behind the "rules." Not asking anyone to agree with the rules per se, only to look at the logic that underpins them. Same applies to why I'm a fan of Suzanne Venker; one doesn't have to agree with her application either, but I think her logic is sound.

I posted both suggestions because that was my contribution to the thread title. The logic that underpins both "The Rules" and Venker's approaches speak directly toward intentionality. Know what "you're" doing when it comes to "marriage" as "you" would do pursuing a career. Radical feminism screwed it up regarding the former just as the "be a Stepford wife" screwed up the latter.

--- End of line (MCP)
 
Top