Woman Got Her Revenge When an Old Bully Asked Her for a Date

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Bullying is often more than just embarrassment, and I don't exactly believe you when you say you've thanked your bullies, but that's neither here nor there.

s.

Again, I was not bully'd. I was not mistreated like she was. I am NOT comparing my experience to her's. At all. You brought it up. All I am saying is that I thanked them, which was your point. I remember not liking them at all at the time but, I also used what they said as motivation.

How can I be clear? My intent was not and is not to condone, tacitly or otherwise, bullying. My intent was to use lifes unpleasant moments as motivation for self improvement, which this kid did.

Bullying happens. It just does. It happens in nature. ALL the time. As humans, we're capable of making the best of it and moving on. The difference is nature doesn't do it with any malice. Kids, people, can be AWFUL. I get that. However, I just see a positive here and I did not mean to strike a raw nerve.
 

Radiant1

Soul Probe
Again, I was not bully'd.

That's clear enough because surely if you were you wouldn't suggest this woman thank the man who gave her so much grief. However, I'm sure you meant well enough intending to just make something good out of the bad. Sorry if I came at you too harshly.
 

mAlice

professional daydreamer
I think she just may have handled that entirely wrong. What if, by not accepting that kids are #######s, and most people grow up and realize they were once little sh!tz, she has missed the love of her life?
Instead of playing incognito, she could have reminded him who she was, he could have apologized for being a typical kid, and they could have started with a clean slate. She didn't give him a chance to be a mature adult.
Just a thought :shrug:
 

Radiant1

Soul Probe
This is a perfect example of what I mean by tacit approval...

What if, by not accepting that kids are #######s, and most people grow up and realize they were once little sh!tz, she has missed the love of her life? Instead of playing incognito, she could have reminded him who she was, he could have apologized for being a typical kid

Speak for yourself. The majority of kids are not assholes or little shits. He may have been the typical bully in a crowd, but he was not a typical kid.
 

mAlice

professional daydreamer
This is a perfect example of what I mean by tacit approval...



Speak for yourself. The majority of kids are not assholes or little shits. He may have been the typical bully in a crowd, but he was not a typical kid.
It's a shame you missed the message.
 

acommondisaster

Active Member
I suffered some pretty vicious non-physical bullying from grade school on through high school. Thank goodness there was no facebook back then - I can only imagine how awful those people would have been. I think it molded the way I've dealt with people all of my life and had an effect on my self-esteem, not necessarily in good ways. There wasn't really anyone to talk to about it back then, and I know that I still harbor some feelings for a few of the most hurtful people I came in contact with. I'm embarrassed to say that I have actually had a feeling of satisfaction when I've found out that I've turned out to be more successful than this one or that one, though they were certainly not the impetus to do well in life. I was actually pretty surprised when I joined the navy to find that people (and guys) liked me, people listened to me and valued my opinions and I wasn't prejudged because of who I was.

That Ahole's bullying didn't make her a better person. She was fine to begin with, just a kid growing up and going through her awkward years. What he did was hurt her deeply. He didn't cause her to improve herself, she would have turned out beautiful despite him. There is absolutely nothing positive that he did and for him to insinuate that he had a hand in it shows just how stupid and self centered and passive aggressive he is. He really hasn't changed one bit. He now justifies his meanness.
 

mamatutu

mama to two
I suffered some pretty vicious non-physical bullying from grade school on through high school. Thank goodness there was no facebook back then - I can only imagine how awful those people would have been. I think it molded the way I've dealt with people all of my life and had an effect on my self-esteem, not necessarily in good ways. There wasn't really anyone to talk to about it back then, and I know that I still harbor some feelings for a few of the most hurtful people I came in contact with. I'm embarrassed to say that I have actually had a feeling of satisfaction when I've found out that I've turned out to be more successful than this one or that one, though they were certainly not the impetus to do well in life. I was actually pretty surprised when I joined the navy to find that people (and guys) liked me, people listened to me and valued my opinions and I wasn't prejudged because of who I was.

That Ahole's bullying didn't make her a better person. She was fine to begin with, just a kid growing up and going through her awkward years. What he did was hurt her deeply. He didn't cause her to improve herself, she would have turned out beautiful despite him. There is absolutely nothing positive that he did and for him to insinuate that he had a hand in it shows just how stupid and self centered and passive aggressive he is. He really hasn't changed one bit. He now justifies his meanness.

I never suffered bullying growing up, but I do have some reference to it. My daughter was so bullied by a boy on our street to the point he said he would do her bodily harm, that I had to file for a restraining order on him. That was awkward! This happened in my daughter's middle school years. It was so distressing. A teacher would meet her everyday to get her off the bus safely. My daughter was very shy and did not cause any of the tension. I think he liked her, but she would have nothing to do with him. This is when the kids on our street were catching the bus at 6:20am. I would drive her up to the bus stop. The boy even went so far as to throw gravel at my car. When I called him on it, he said didn't you see the deer running by, they must have done it. Oh, and his life is no better now. He amounted to nothing. I have gotten past it and am congenial with his parents. But, good grief!
 

Larry Gude

Strung Out
How different is school bullying from what goes on around here, the forums?

I mean, it is clearly a huge step removed because this is all on line, not in person, so, it is VERY different in that way but, past that, isn't there a fair bit of bullying that goes on here?
 
How different is school bullying from what goes on around here, the forums?

I mean, it is clearly a huge step removed because this is all on line, not in person, so, it is VERY different in that way but, past that, isn't there a fair bit of bullying that goes on here?
Depends... do you consider the fact that the rest of us meet up secretly in the "Get A Load of that Goofy Guitar Hacking Geezer" private forum bullying...:shrug:
 

BOP

Well-Known Member
To his credit, the former ahole sent her back an apology.

Hey… For what it’s worth, I was actually here to meet up looking for a chance to meet up looking to make friends, not because you are very good looking. I guess I had it coming though, and certainly don’t blame you for standing me up.

I can’t change who I was 8 years ago, and I won’t insult your intelligence by pretending that it didn’t happen, but I hope you believe me when I say I’m a completely different person now. I can only apologise and wish you the very best. I guess I won’t hear from you again but I mean it when I say that I hope you have every success you deserve.”


So good for him. :yay:

You mean other than that back-handed slap he gave her?
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
Seriously? for crying out loud - two wrongs don't make a right, either.

She should let it go, get past the middle school BS and get over it. AND herself while she's at it.
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
I think she just may have handled that entirely wrong. What if, by not accepting that kids are #######s, and most people grow up and realize they were once little sh!tz, she has missed the love of her life?
Instead of playing incognito, she could have reminded him who she was, he could have apologized for being a typical kid, and they could have started with a clean slate. She didn't give him a chance to be a mature adult.
Just a thought :shrug:

I agree.
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
I also think it is crazy to try and find moral equivalency in her ADULT decision to get revenge over wrongs done to her by pre-teen scmucks. :shrug:
 

Misfit

Lawful neutral
:eyebrow:
 

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MMM_donuts

New Member
While I understand why this girl did what she did, I'd like add a few points.

It's true what they say about the burden of holding a grudge. Learning to cope is a very important skill.

I'm not saying she should excuse his actions but she should understand that not all people are nice or good people. It's important to know that so you aren't knocked off your path of excellence when you come in contact with them. They are merely a learning tool at this point.

These things have a way of working themselves out. Aholes don't need her help, they'll eff up their own lives simply by being an ahole. She is much better off simply knowing that these types of people exist in the world, learning to cope with it, and -even better- becoming either a positive role model and/or using it all to her advantage so she can better herself in such a way that she has a happy life.

This sort of action reveals that her self confidence is still fragile. How devastated would she have been if he hadn't responded with an apology? If he had identified it as a weakness and attacked it upon feeling alienated by her behavior? She probably could've just talked to him about it and received much more gratifying results. Why is it so important to feel better by making him feel guilty about something he has either already changed or is unlikely to change from this one incident?

I was totally bullied growing up. Like downright mean spirited bullied. I, too, am very happy that social media wasn't as prevalent growing up.
I'm certainly not going to thank anyone that bullied me but I don't think seeking petty revenge is healthy, either.

Mean spirited little kids will go down one of a few paths in which either they'll either become better people and realize their mistakes as they grow or their lives will suck and you didn't need to be a part of that mess anyways. Maybe make an effort to understand it so that you may appropriately identify it, stop it, and deal with it if it occurs. Then go pat yourself on the back and do something fun.
 

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Depends... do you consider the fact that the rest of us meet up secretly in the "Get A Load of that Goofy Guitar Hacking Geezer" private forum bullying...:shrug:

No. That is motivation. :yahoo:


You want something to talk about, I'll send you a clip of me singing to the 'Grooveh rock song" I wrote the other day.
 

mAlice

professional daydreamer
I think I got the message loud and clear, mAlice. 1) Bullying behavior is typical kid stuff, get over it and 2) she's an asshole for not forgiving him for being an asshole.

:eyebrow:


As I said, what a shame you missed the message.
 
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