Grumpy
Well-Known Member
What song did you lift that from??
Woman swears off dating men due to frustrating trend
- Thread starter GURPS
- Start date
None, maybe I missed my calling.
BOP
Well-Known Member
The sociopaths seem to be the majority these days.
BOP
Well-Known Member
The Tube Sox Boogie?
mitzi
Well-Known Member
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
Oh man, I'd forgotten about THAT when I was a janitor.
Again, to be fair, men were more likely to drop a dookie in the urinal.
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
Tidiness I will mostly agree with - but I don't see the connection with punctuality. THAT, I've seen over every demographic you can think of. Me, my Dad always repeated some version of the military dictum "if you're on time, you're ten minutes late". He also used to say that people who are chronically late are telling you openly that their time is more important than yours.
The thing with tidiness is as you have partly observed - men just aren't as fastidious about clean - I used to spend every Saturday morning cleaning my house when I lived alone - and yet my wife said the place was disgusting because there was dust on top of the refrigerator or behind the microwave. It wasn't dirty to me because - I never looked there. Who does? Besides women?
I had a similar discussion with my best friend when he got married and his wife moved into his house. He said she complained that he didn't do as much cleaning as she did, and he insisted that he is actually doing MORE than he did when he lived there alone. I observed the reason was obvious - HIS level of "clean" wasn't as spotless as HER level of clean. "How often do you scrub out the bathroom?" "A few times a month" "With her, it's going to be every day or every other day".
HIS level of what he thought was clean wasn't the same as hers. And probably never WILL be.
I'm not talking about that. Dusty blinds are one thing, a toilet that looks like a war zone is another. Mashing down the trash instead of just taking it out. Leaving dirty dishes in the sink overnight. Finally doing laundry, only to let it sit unfolded in the basket for days.
My observation is that women are constantly cleaning and tidying. Doing dishes, wiping up spills, run a quick floor swiffer, swish the potty, etc. When they "clean house" it's the fridge top, blinds, ceiling fans, like that. Men save it all up for one full scale Rambo - they let the house get to be a complete pit, then they clean it all.
BadGirl
I am so very blessed
How else are you supposed to know if you want to invest time in a second date?
Sneakers
Just sneakin' around....
I resemble that comment.
lucky_bee
RBF expert
I am a "normal" mid-30s female in a heterosexual marriage with a "normal" (blue-collar) guy. We both grew up with traditional parents - our moms both took time off to be SAHMs but also had times to focus on their careers. We each saw both perspectives with those roles.
My husband can clean and cook, but his threshold for what's clean is much larger than mine. I tend to tidy as I go and then have 2-3 major top-to-bottom cleaning weekends a year. He has 2 older kids, and then our kiddo together. He's admitted he's much better about being involved with our kiddo this time around, but also his career at this stage allows him to be. He spent a lot of time away either deployed or working extra long shifts, when his other kids were young. We don't exactly split everything 50/50...I'd say financially it's more 65/35 so I tend to take on a lot more of the household duties and kid stuff, but he has no issue assisting where needed. His job just brings more to the table for our family right now, where as mine can be a bit more flexible so that's how it works for us. He's not the most perceptive person, but if I tell him I need help or I'm overwhelmed, he will jump right in.
Being a dual income family is almost mandatory right now unless you're making a certain amount. Being a SAHM is completely out of the question at this time, and honestly I provide better for my son as a working mother.
and I see similar patterns in all our friends' households. I do have a few SAHM friends but not a single one "expects" anything from their husband. I think we're over-projecting here on that stereotype. I don't see it.
Also, if a woman is pushing back on what men bring to the table, it's because you're not Father of the Year just because you pay the bills. That's the bare-minimum. Raising/being involved with your kids is part of the whole "having a family" deal. If you can't handle both working and coming home to hang out with your family, then how can you expect your partner to do 100% of the household/family crap with zero assistance. If men are pushing back on women for pushing back on this... they're just lazy and don't like being called out on it. There's a difference between having traditional roles, and being a dick husband who wants it all.
My husband can clean and cook, but his threshold for what's clean is much larger than mine. I tend to tidy as I go and then have 2-3 major top-to-bottom cleaning weekends a year. He has 2 older kids, and then our kiddo together. He's admitted he's much better about being involved with our kiddo this time around, but also his career at this stage allows him to be. He spent a lot of time away either deployed or working extra long shifts, when his other kids were young. We don't exactly split everything 50/50...I'd say financially it's more 65/35 so I tend to take on a lot more of the household duties and kid stuff, but he has no issue assisting where needed. His job just brings more to the table for our family right now, where as mine can be a bit more flexible so that's how it works for us. He's not the most perceptive person, but if I tell him I need help or I'm overwhelmed, he will jump right in.
Being a dual income family is almost mandatory right now unless you're making a certain amount. Being a SAHM is completely out of the question at this time, and honestly I provide better for my son as a working mother.
and I see similar patterns in all our friends' households. I do have a few SAHM friends but not a single one "expects" anything from their husband. I think we're over-projecting here on that stereotype. I don't see it.
Also, if a woman is pushing back on what men bring to the table, it's because you're not Father of the Year just because you pay the bills. That's the bare-minimum. Raising/being involved with your kids is part of the whole "having a family" deal. If you can't handle both working and coming home to hang out with your family, then how can you expect your partner to do 100% of the household/family crap with zero assistance. If men are pushing back on women for pushing back on this... they're just lazy and don't like being called out on it. There's a difference between having traditional roles, and being a dick husband who wants it all.
PeoplesElbow
Well-Known Member
I've seen that, how is that handled, a garden trowel?
gemma_rae
Well-Known Member
HenryEarlIII
The Earl of Henry
Sneak a peek at his bank accounts.
yous noes ya lubs me
gemma_rae
Well-Known Member
Henry Earl! You know I do! Where have you been hiding you rascal?!
Happy belated Birthday!