Women want their men to be dogs?

bcp

bcp

In My Opinion
​
Dog Owners Look for Canine Qualities in Human Partners​
This Valentine's Day, forget romance -- it's all about Rover.

According to an AKC survey of dog owners, an overwhelming majority of women -- nearly 90% -- find at least one quality in their dog that they'd like to see in their significant other, while 34% percent of the women surveyed agreed with the statement, "If my dog was a man, he'd be my boyfriend!" When the question was posed to men, 33% said the number one canine quality they wished their women had is "always being in a good mood." Fewer men than women (23%) agreed with the statement "If my dog was a woman she'd be my girlfriend." Read the full article.
Click to expand...
Ok, so as we all have come to know, I BCP am the perfect husband/boyfriend/kept man. And maintaining this standard of perfection is at times a difficult and trying job. But I do it.

After reading the above article delivered in my monthly AKC news letter, I realize that it is possible that even I, the perfect mate, might be lacking in certain areas.

So, I intend to use this information to better myself for those women that I might come into contact with.

My questions.

what things should I do to be more like the dog, and by doing so endear myself to my loved ones even further than I already have?

should I.

1) Start peeing on the carpet?

2) Poop on the floor in front of the door so that when it is opened my poo can be smeared across the hardwood floor?

3) Should I just start licking her face anytime My tounge is in range?

4) Should I hump her leg as well as the legs of anyone that walks into the house? Im not sure how the cats will react to this.

5) Maybe I should shread the couch and leave the fuzzy stuff all over for her?

6) Im not sure that without extensive reconstructive surgery I can lick my own male parts, but if that is what it takes, should that be an option?

7) should I just bury my face in her dinner plate and steal her food?

8) or, would just simply waiting until she is asleep and start barking in her ear be enough to satisfy her desires.

9) I would prefer not to have to steal the cat poo from the litter box and eat it like some kind of cherished snack.


So women, I need input as even I, the great BCP do not have all the answers for this new found way of enriching the lives of those around me.
 
bcp

bcp

In My Opinion
Wickedwrench said:
It's because they can beat a dog and he always comes back for more. Can't say the same for a man.:lmao:
Click to expand...
although I respect your theory totally, I beg to differ.

the common evening scene played out across American homes nightly.

Husband walks in the door from work.

wife:
Where the Hell have you been all day?

Husband:
um,, Work?

Wife:
Did you make any money?

Husband:
Yes

Wife:
Well were is it???

Husband:
I get paid on Fridays,, this is only Monday.

Wife:
So Im just supposed to belive that you are going to work monday through thursday with no money? If they only pay you on Friday,, then only work Friday. What do you do the rest of the week???? is there someone else? is she younger than me? does she weigh less that my 600 lbs?

Husband:
Um, I have to work 5 days to get paid on Friday. I work every day.

Wife:
You lying bastard, I know you've been sleeping around. Dont you ever come back in this house and not bring me money.. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME

Husband:
OK
Are we going to have dinner tonight?

Wife:
F-U,, Get that little tramp you spend all day with to feed you.


and next week he will do the same.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
bcp said:
Im not sure that without extensive reconstructive surgery I can lick my own male parts, but if that is what it takes, should that be an option?
Click to expand...
If you could lick your own male parts, why would you need a woman?
 
bcp

bcp

In My Opinion
vraiblonde said:
That's why they invented Beefaroni. Is Chef Boyardee a woman? NO! He's a man. Think about it...
Click to expand...
Have you ever tasted Beefaroni?

you think about it.:killingme
 
Wickedwrench

Wickedwrench

Stubborn and opinionated
bcp said:
although I respect your theory totally, I beg to differ.

the common evening scene played out across American homes nightly.

Husband walks in the door from work.

wife:
Where the Hell have you been all day?

Husband:
um,, Work?

Wife:
Did you make any money?

Husband:
Yes

Wife:
Well were is it???

Husband:
I get paid on Fridays,, this is only Monday.

Wife:
So Im just supposed to belive that you are going to work monday through thursday with no money? If they only pay you on Friday,, then only work Friday. What do you do the rest of the week???? is there someone else? is she younger than me? does she weigh less that my 600 lbs?

Husband:
Um, I have to work 5 days to get paid on Friday. I work every day.

Wife:
You lying bastard, I know you've been sleeping around. Dont you ever come back in this house and not bring me money.. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME

Husband:
OK
Are we going to have dinner tonight?

Wife:
F-U,, Get that little tramp you spend all day with to feed you.


and next week he will do the same.
Click to expand...
:twitch: You spyed on me many moons ago, didn't you?:twitch:

This scenario doesn't play out at my house anymore.:lmao:
 
jazz lady

jazz lady

~*~ Rara Avis ~*~
PREMO Member
Wickedwrench said:
It's because they can beat a dog and he always comes back for more. Can't say the same for a man.:lmao:
Click to expand...

It's because they're not being beaten right. :wench: :cool:
 
Just Me

Just Me

New Member
bcp said:
although I respect your theory totally, I beg to differ.

the common evening scene played out across American homes nightly.

Husband walks in the door from work.

wife:
Where the Hell have you been all day?

Husband:
um,, Work?

Wife:
Did you make any money?

Husband:
Yes

Wife:
Well were is it???

Husband:
I get paid on Fridays,, this is only Monday.

Wife:
So Im just supposed to belive that you are going to work monday through thursday with no money? If they only pay you on Friday,, then only work Friday. What do you do the rest of the week???? is there someone else? is she younger than me? does she weigh less that my 600 lbs?

Husband:
Um, I have to work 5 days to get paid on Friday. I work every day.

Wife:
You lying bastard, I know you've been sleeping around. Dont you ever come back in this house and not bring me money.. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME

Husband:
OK
Are we going to have dinner tonight?

Wife:
F-U,, Get that little tramp you spend all day with to feed you.


and next week he will do the same.
Click to expand...

Sounds like some remedial training would help. :wench:
 
LexiGirl75

LexiGirl75

100% Goapele Head!
bcp said:
although I respect your theory totally, I beg to differ.

the common evening scene played out across American homes nightly.

Husband walks in the door from work.

wife:
Where the Hell have you been all day?

Husband:
um,, Work?

Wife:
Did you make any money?

Husband:
Yes

Wife:
Well were is it???

Husband:
I get paid on Fridays,, this is only Monday.

Wife:
So Im just supposed to belive that you are going to work monday through thursday with no money? If they only pay you on Friday,, then only work Friday. What do you do the rest of the week???? is there someone else? is she younger than me? does she weigh less that my 600 lbs?

Husband:
Um, I have to work 5 days to get paid on Friday. I work every day.

Wife:
You lying bastard, I know you've been sleeping around. Dont you ever come back in this house and not bring me money.. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME

Husband:
OK
Are we going to have dinner tonight?

Wife:
F-U,, Get that little tramp you spend all day with to feed you.


and next week he will do the same.
Click to expand...

I'm in love with your humor and it scares me. :flowers:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top