Wonder whats happening

[watercolor]

So my neice has been doing this lieing crap alot lately. Its about EVERYTHING. A few months ago, she was doing it (it hasnt stopped since then) and we thought that it was just a phase, or something. But it isnt. It's the littlest thing that she will lie about. To the point its becoming a reality to her almost.

She just turned 7, is this something because their imaginations are running rampid or whatever. OR is it something else provoking it. I thought for a while, that because he mom was pregnant that it might be a jealousy thing. But, because its literally about everything- I am starting to think that isnt it.

She is a quick learner and will grasp anything the first time you show it to her. She does well in school and is very sociable with people. Maybe she is just bored and that is why she is lieing? I dont know.

A) I guess, what is causing it. andd B) any way to stop it that you have maybe done or tried



TIA

 

[snuzzy]

I teach 2nd grade and run across this a lot. As a teacher, it is sometimes hard to convince parents to take what their 7 year old says "with a grain of salt". Yes, they often do believe what they are saying is true. When discussing stories that we have read in class, some kids have a hard time discerning reality from fiction. Remember, the Easter Bunny is still very real to kids at this age, though they are beginning to develop an understanding of what can really happen...I believe that as they develop, they "test their boundries", so your neice may be "testing the waters" about reality and her imagination, often not distinguishing them for herself. Sometimes the brighter, more capable students have the best imaginations and can "indulge" in this behavior better/longer. The thing is to "catch her in a lie" and explain how important being truthful is, each and every time, and impose a consequence when appropriate (ie:hurtful lying) When my son was this age he would often lie to get himself out of trouble, or earn himself sympathy when he didn't want to do homework, or was getting in trouble for something unrelated. For example: He was in trouble at home one afternoon because he was giving me grief about doing his homework, I took tv time away from him, at which point, he melted down into tears and told me how mean his teacher was because she saw another kid push him and "didn't do anything about it". To him, this was a true story, and he was very convincing... to "catch him", I sympathetically told him that that was terrible for the teacher to be so unfair, and I was certainly going to call the teacher and express my concerns, but before I do that, I need to know exactly what happened so that I can be specific with her...Thinking I was on his side, he launched into a conflicting account of what happened and when I pointed out the inconsistencies in his story, I got "well, maybe she didn't see it, or the other child did it by accident..." I would then explain to him how much trouble the teacher (who he honestly liked) could have gotten into, or how embarrassed I would have been to yell at the teacher, only to find out the real story from her. Several examples of this kind of scenario may help your neice to see the "error of her ways". Two things to remember 1. It's not unusual for children at this age to lie/engage in "fanciful" tales and 2. They often convince themselves that what they are saying is the reality ( even if it doesn't start out that way). I only punished when the lie was hurtful, or it was clear that he knew he was lying to get out of trouble...otherwise, I suggest calmly exposing the reality and then reinforcing the value of honesty in your family... I hope this helps.