* You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.
* A gardener cuts your grass even though you have a brand-new lawn mower in the garage.
* Now that you can finally afford front-row seats at a rock concert, you can't imagine why anyone would want to be there.
* Whenever an old movie comes on television late at night, you've already seen it.
* Your baby pictures are in black and white.
* When watch reruns of Leave It to Beaver, The Brady Bunch, or The Wonder Years, you identify with the parents.
* You remember where you were when President Kennedy was shot, but you can't remember where you put the car keys last night.
* Your prescription refill number is programmed into your "speed dial."
* You have your Christmas cards in the mail by December 1st.
* You stopped worrying about hair loss and started worrying about memory loss.
* You own more electrical appliances than there are electrical outlets in your home.
* While you are appalled by President Clinton's alleged sexual exploits, you admire his stamina.
* Your IRA has a higher balance than your credit cards.
* You can make major household repairs without buying any new tools.
* You've named your eyeglasses by the activity they permit you to do.
* Some of your mortgage payment actually goes against the principal.
* Watching Leno or Letterman is only possible on "nap" days.
* Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, and Peter, Paul & Mary don't look that old to you.
* A gardener cuts your grass even though you have a brand-new lawn mower in the garage.
* Now that you can finally afford front-row seats at a rock concert, you can't imagine why anyone would want to be there.
* Whenever an old movie comes on television late at night, you've already seen it.
* Your baby pictures are in black and white.
* When watch reruns of Leave It to Beaver, The Brady Bunch, or The Wonder Years, you identify with the parents.
* You remember where you were when President Kennedy was shot, but you can't remember where you put the car keys last night.
* Your prescription refill number is programmed into your "speed dial."
* You have your Christmas cards in the mail by December 1st.
* You stopped worrying about hair loss and started worrying about memory loss.
* You own more electrical appliances than there are electrical outlets in your home.
* While you are appalled by President Clinton's alleged sexual exploits, you admire his stamina.
* Your IRA has a higher balance than your credit cards.
* You can make major household repairs without buying any new tools.
* You've named your eyeglasses by the activity they permit you to do.
* Some of your mortgage payment actually goes against the principal.
* Watching Leno or Letterman is only possible on "nap" days.
* Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, and Peter, Paul & Mary don't look that old to you.
