High EGT
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You Might Work For The Government If...
1. > > When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
2. > > You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
3. > > Your biggest loss from a system crash is you lose all your best jokes.
4. > > Your supervisor doesn’t have the ability to do your job.
5. > > Your office computer was just upgraded to a 200 MHz Pentium this year.
6. > > Lunch is like another scheduled meeting, only shorter.
7. > > You and your coequals always consume the free food left over from VIP meetings.
8. > > You’re forced to park your car a mile from the office because of all the
commander’s, military, customers, VIP’s, employees of the onth/quarter/year, and visitor parking spaces by the main entrance.
9. > > Fun is when an important issue is assigned to someone else.
10. > > “One “Oh crap!” wipes out a years worth of “Atta Boys” are words to live by.
11. > > Appearance is more important than substance.
12. > > There is never enough time to do your job, but always enough time to prepare a briefing on it.
13. > > Art involves a white board and dry markers.
14. > > The suspense you were just assigned was late when you received it and you are required to justify why.
15. > > Management thinks a business trip with uncompensated mandatory weekend travel is a perk.
16. > > You have a telephone, pager, e-mail, FAX, company distribution, Fed-X, US > > mail and co-equals sitting right across the hall...communication is a > > continuing problem.
17. > > You know and everyone that works with you knows your performance is superior, but “satisfactory” is the highest level on the documented performance rating.
18. > > Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
19. > > When workers screw up they are transferred to another office to be someone else’s problem; when management screws up they are promoted.
20. > > Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes,” “in your spare time,” “when you’re freed up,” and “I have an opportunity for you.”
21. > > Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
22. > > There is no travel money to do the mission, but somehow always enough money for another conference.
23. > > Organizational direction changes every 2 or 3 months.
24. > > The worst possible reputation comes from being the initiator of a complaint.
1. > > When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
2. > > You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
3. > > Your biggest loss from a system crash is you lose all your best jokes.
4. > > Your supervisor doesn’t have the ability to do your job.
5. > > Your office computer was just upgraded to a 200 MHz Pentium this year.
6. > > Lunch is like another scheduled meeting, only shorter.
7. > > You and your coequals always consume the free food left over from VIP meetings.
8. > > You’re forced to park your car a mile from the office because of all the
commander’s, military, customers, VIP’s, employees of the onth/quarter/year, and visitor parking spaces by the main entrance.
9. > > Fun is when an important issue is assigned to someone else.
10. > > “One “Oh crap!” wipes out a years worth of “Atta Boys” are words to live by.
11. > > Appearance is more important than substance.
12. > > There is never enough time to do your job, but always enough time to prepare a briefing on it.
13. > > Art involves a white board and dry markers.
14. > > The suspense you were just assigned was late when you received it and you are required to justify why.
15. > > Management thinks a business trip with uncompensated mandatory weekend travel is a perk.
16. > > You have a telephone, pager, e-mail, FAX, company distribution, Fed-X, US > > mail and co-equals sitting right across the hall...communication is a > > continuing problem.
17. > > You know and everyone that works with you knows your performance is superior, but “satisfactory” is the highest level on the documented performance rating.
18. > > Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
19. > > When workers screw up they are transferred to another office to be someone else’s problem; when management screws up they are promoted.
20. > > Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes,” “in your spare time,” “when you’re freed up,” and “I have an opportunity for you.”
21. > > Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
22. > > There is no travel money to do the mission, but somehow always enough money for another conference.
23. > > Organizational direction changes every 2 or 3 months.
24. > > The worst possible reputation comes from being the initiator of a complaint.
When my relative used to ask me this question I just used to tell them....
