You 'otter' know you're old when....

jazz lady

~*~ Rara Avis ~*~
PREMO Member
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

- It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

- No one expects you to run into a burning building.

- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

- There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

- Things you buy now won't wear out.

- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

- You can eat dinner at 4:00

- You can live without sex but not without glasses.

- You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

- You got cable for the weather channel.

- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

- You send money to PBS.

- You sing along with the elevator music.

- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

- Your back goes out more than you do.

- Your ears are hairier than your head.

- Your eyes won't get much worse.

- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. :lmao:

- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. :killingme
 
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