Your kids visiting others?

[poster]

How many of you have kids come over and won't let your own children go to their houses? Have you ever been "called out" on it?

I have been asked why my child can't come for the weekend to a family member's house. A simple "NO, if you don't understand I'm sorry" was given but that I would be asked why totally blows me away. The "couple" is always in court with one another, split, back together and constantly arguing. The simple truth is they smoke in their home, argue, curse, drink and drug. No - I won't send my child into that and I feel for their own.

 

[dolemite]

How many of you have kids come over and won't let your own children go to their houses? Have you ever been "called out" on it?

I have been asked why my child can't come for the weekend to a family member's house. A simple "NO, if you don't understand I'm sorry" was given but that I would be asked why totally blows me away. The "couple" is always in court with one another, split, back together and constantly arguing. The simple truth is they smoke in their home, argue, curse, drink and drug. No - I won't send my child into that and I feel for their own.

good decision not to send your child

 

[poster]

Before I get bashed here, let me say, I'm no saint. I too drink in front of my kids, but in moderation. We watch our language, but it's not to say choice words don't slip out. I have smoked and only outside and away from the kids. Drugs are a big NO and as for arguing, it's not very often and we make an effort not to in front of the kids.

 

[jenbengen]

How many of you have kids come over and won't let your own children go to their houses? Have you ever been "called out" on it?

I have been asked why my child can't come for the weekend to a family member's house. A simple "NO, if you don't understand I'm sorry" was given but that I would be asked why totally blows me away. The "couple" is always in court with one another, split, back together and constantly arguing. The simple truth is they smoke in their home, argue, curse, drink and drug. No - I won't send my child into that and I feel for their own.

I've had to deal with this with a select set of family members. When it is family, I don't hesitate to be very honest with them. Otherwise, it'll keep coming up and they'll draw their own conclusions.

 

[Mojo]

Before I get bashed here, let me say, I'm no saint. I too drink in front of my kids, but in moderation. We watch our language, but it's not to say choice words don't slip out. I have smoked and only outside and away from the kids. Drugs are a big NO and as for arguing, it's not very often and we make an effort not to in front of the kids.

Don't ever let your kids go to Mainmans crib. He smokes, drinks and cusses right in front of them. He got so drunk one time that he peed in my sons face

 

[poster]

I've had to deal with this with a select set of family members. When it is family, I don't hesitate to be very honest with them. Otherwise, it'll keep coming up and they'll draw their own conclusions.

They know the reasons why but they don't seem to understand that there's anything wrong. It's been made pretty clear on their part they feel we believe we're "better" than they are. Give me a break - sane maybe.

 

[vraiblonde]

The "couple" is always in court with one another, split, back together and constantly arguing. The simple truth is they smoke in their home, argue, curse, drink and drug. No - I won't send my child into that and I feel for their own.

Sounds like me and Larry (except for the drugs and court).

But we never did these things in front of our kids' friends. And you yourself admitted that you do these things, not in front of guests or kids, so I'm curious if your objection is that these people DO do these things in front of kids.

Regardless, if you don't want your kids at someone's house for any reason, that should be the end of it, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. They may think you're the overprotective weird parent, but that's their problem.

 

[poster]

Sounds like me and Larry (except for the drugs and court).

But we never did these things in front of our kids' friends. And you yourself admitted that you do these things, not in front of guests or kids, so I'm curious if your objection is that these people DO do these things in front of kids.
Regardless, if you don't want your kids at someone's house for any reason, that should be the end of it, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. They may think you're the overprotective weird parent, but that's their problem.

Yes - however the drugs alone (in front of or not) make me say no.

It's their home and everyone's different but I don't want my child exposed to their behavior. We don't even go there as adults, why would I send my kids? I don't feel bad about saying no, I just don't understand how they could not see why.

 

[SeaRide]

.....I just don't understand how they could not see why.

Simple .. their brains are so fricking fried they could not see why.

 

[poster]

Simple .. their brains are so fricking fried they could not see why.

You are right.

 

[vraiblonde]

I just don't understand how they could not see why.

People never think they're weird, or they'd stop doing weird things. I think overprotective Mommies are weird; they think my lack of hovering is weird. People think I'm weird because I smoke; I think smoke Nazis and germophobes are weird.

:shrug:

 

[vraiblonde]

You know, there are some women who think nothing of getting drunk and peeing on a car tire. Personally, I think that's pretty weird. But maybe they think I'm weird because I actually seek out a restroom when I have to pee.

To each his own. :shrug:

 

[Nanny Pam]

You know, there are some women who think nothing of getting drunk and peeing on a car tire. Personally, I think that's pretty weird. But maybe they think I'm weird because I actually seek out a restroom when I have to pee.

To each his own. :shrug:

a car tire is alot safer than a poison ivy bush. :shrug:

 

[Cowgirl]

a car tire is alot safer than a poison ivy bush. :shrug:

or a ball hitch uch:

 

[nachomama]

Yes - however the drugs alone (in front of or not) make me say no.

It's their home and everyone's different but I don't want my child exposed to their behavior. We don't even go there as adults, why would I send my kids? I don't feel bad about saying no, I just don't understand how they could not see why.

If this matter involves family, I wouldn't have the slightest problem telling them the reasons why my kids will not be going to their house, and I'd point out the fact that I don't go over there myself, why would I send them alone?

Sometimes idiots need to have these details hit them in a face like a brick before they'll realize the true meaning.

Cussing? Smoking? Don't like it in the house, but I can handle that. Drinking, don't like it in front of my kids, but as long as it's not excessive...Drugs? They're illegal, don't do them around me or my kids or me and my kids won't be around you.

 

[poster]

a car tire is alot safer than a poison ivy bush. :shrug:

Been there - Bad camping memories!

 

[RareBreed]

I've had to deal with this with a select set of family members. When it is family, I don't hesitate to be very honest with them. Otherwise, it'll keep coming up and they'll draw their own conclusions.

If you don't tell them straight out the reasons why you don't want your kids over, they will keep asking. Even if these people don't think your reasons are valid, they are valid to you and should be accepted. My kids don't go to my sister's house without me because she and her husband start drinking after breakfast and have known to drive drunk with their daughter in the car before.